


Threes A Crowd

by Bookworm4567



Series: Threes A Party [2]
Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Angel Dust, Bisexual Charlie, Bisexual Vaggie, Humor, Multi, Pregnancy, Slow Burn, This is not your regular fluffy pregnancy fic there will be DRAMA, eventual polyamory, nobody here is ready to be a parent but TS, pregnancy freakouts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 34,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25517959
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bookworm4567/pseuds/Bookworm4567
Summary: Two months after Vaggies heat she recieves some unexpected news that her, Charlie and Angel Dust all have to deal with, and they've only got seven months to do it!
Relationships: Angel Dust/Charlie Magne, Angel Dust/Charlie Magne/Vaggie, Angel Dust/Vaggie (Hazbin Hotel), Charlie Magne/Vaggie, Cherri Bomb/Molly (Hazbin Hotel)
Series: Threes A Party [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1894465
Comments: 93
Kudos: 217





	1. Two Black Lines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vaggie and Charlie get some pretty big news, and a bomb is about to be dropped.

Vaggie sat alone in her bathroom, perched on the toilet lid. Her phone alarm had been blaring for the last fifteen seconds, but she could barely hear it, staring down at the innocent white stick in her hand.

Two black lines. The test was positive.

Breathing shakily, she put the pregnancy test on the sink, right next to the other four that all bore the same double black lines. One positive could be a fluke, two could've been a double fluke, three and you were pushing it, four and you were kidding yourself.

At five, you couldn't deny it anymore. _She_ couldn't deny it anymore.

She was pregnant.

"Shit..." Vaggie whispered. Then she punched the wall so hard her fist broke through into the next room.

"FUCK!"

*

**Vaggie: I need to talk to you. Now!**

Charlie put down the pen she was filling out paperwork with and frowned. If Vaggie needed to talk to her, why didn't she just come to her office? She sent a reply.

**Charlie: Okay, where are you?**

**Vaggie: Bedroom. Come quickly.**

Okay, now this was getting weird. She got up and headed for her and Vaggies shared bedroom at a quick walk and opened the door. Vaggie was sat on their bed, her head bowed and hands in her lap.

"Vaggie? What's wrong?" she went over to her girlfriend and sat beside her, she went to wrap an arm around her but Vaggie pulled away, her face scrunched up with unshed tears. Now Charlie was getting really worried, and she gently brushed her fingers through Vaggies hair.

"Honey, what is it? Talk to me"

Vaggies hands squeezed each other so tightly they went white. She bit her lip, and took a shaky breath.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry, Charlie, I'm so sorry..."

She sobbed, and Charlies.worry skyrocketed. She took one of her hands and squeezed it "What? What're you sorry for? Vaggie, you're scaring me, please just tell me!"

Vaggies lip wobbled, then she unwound her hands beneath Charlie's and revealed what she had been concealing there. The princess felt her heart stop. In Vaggies hand was a pregnancy test. A _positive_ pregnancy test.

"Oh my Circles..."

Finally Vaggie unleashed a harsh sob and pressed her face into her hands as she burst into tears, her shoulders shaking and body curling in on itself as tears streamed down her face and she noisily wept.

 _"I'm sorry!"_ she wailed, over and over again, clinging to Charlie like she might vanish _"I-I'm s-so s-sorry, Charlie! Oh b-baby, I-I never m-m-meant-"_

"Vaggie stop!" Charlie quickly grabbed Vaggies shoulders and turned the hysterical moth towards her. Vaggie stopped yelling, but she was still crying floods of tears. Charlie smiled kindly and wiped them away with her thumb "Sweetheart, its okay! I'm not mad, I promise!"

Vaggie stared at her. A lone tear rolled down her cheek "Y-you're not?"

Charlie shook her head "Nope!"

"Why not?!"

"Because this isn't your fault, Vaggie!"

Vaggie scowled "I got p-pregnant by someone else, how is this not my fucking fault?"

"Because you were in Heat! You weren't in control of yourself, then, and you never would have done it if you were. Vaggie" Charlie brushed the stray silver hairs out of her loves face, cupping her cheeks in her hands "I could never be mad at you for something that wasn't your fault!"

Vaggie took a long, shaky breath, and more tears rolled down her cheek. She raised one trembling hand to cover Charlie's on her cheek " _Mi amore_...I love you...I don't deserve you..."

"Thats nonsense" Charlie leaned in and pressed their foreheads together, cupping her face tenderly in her hands. Finally, Vaggie smiled, and this time when Charlie went to pull her into and embrace she allowed it, soft arms wrapping around the moths back and stroking her long hair, whispering soft assurances in her ear. Vaggie buried her face into Charlie's neck and clung to her until she finally stopped shaking.

"You...you're really not mad at me?" 

"Of course not! How can I be, its, uh...its not like I wasn't there, too, remember?"

Vaggie hiccuped a laugh. Oh yeah, she remembered that veeery well. She snuggled into Charlie and sighed into her neck, taking comfort in her loves soft embrace as her one true fear faded away.

Then Charlie ruined it.

"Vaggie, you know we have to tell Angel, right?"

"Ugh!" Vaggie groaned, and planted her cheek on Charlie's shoulder "Do we _have_ to?"

Charlie kept stroking her back as she spoke, tolerently amused "Yes, we do. He is the father"

 _"Ah, Dios!_ " Vaggie sighed heavily. She figured this would probably come up eventually, she'd hoped they could put it off but since she was already eight weeks gone (she'd done the math while waiting for the first test) she figured she could only keep the secret for so much longer before people realised she wasnt just getting fat. With another long sigh, she nodded.

"Okay"

Charlie held her tighter and pressed a kiss to her head, and Vaggie couldn't help but smile. Telling Angel was going to be no picnic, Hell, none of this was going to be a fucking picnic!

But, maybe she could handle it, as long as she had Charlie by her side.

*

Angel Dust was having one Hell of a night. The music was pounding, the booze was flowing, and he was sandwiched between two hot demons that couldn't keep their hands off of him. Hands were everywhere-on his ass, up his shirt, playing with his skirt-and he laughed when he heard one of the johns groan as he ground his perky ass against them.

Fuck, this was a good way to blow his paycheck! After a hard day of being Valentino's perfect porn star this was just what he needed. He grabbed the neck of the demon in front of him and pulled him in for a filthy necking.

Ten minutes later all three of them were in the alley behind the club and Angel was moaning around a thick red cock as another one pounded his ass. He whimpered pathetically as his lower hands jacked himself to their rough touches, and when they all climaxed he nearly bit off the cock in his mouth. Fortunately the demon was into it, and he stumbled out of that alley with a little more cash than he usually charged.

Grinning, the spider tottered down the street, counting the cash with a wide drunken grin on his face. He stopped off at a vending machine and grabbed a package of his namesake that he quickly stuffed into his chest fluff before any ugly hoodied freaks could snatch it. Who says he never learned from his mistakes?!

He laughed at his own joke and continued on, laughing again when he almost fell into a pot-hole. Fuck, he was wasted, he should probably head back to the hotel, hopefully he could play sober enough not to arouse suspicion.

'Arouse' heh heh! That was funny!

He hailed a cab and walked with unnatural concentration into the hotel. Husk was at the bar, as usual, but merely sniffed when Angel gave him a saucy wink. Husk didn't give a shit when he came in hammered or high, just so long as he didn't mess up the carpet or run around naked.

However, this time when he walked past, Husk did something unusual. He spoke:

"Charlie and Vaggie were lookin' for you, earlier, seemed urgent"

"Yeah? Well, they can come find me in the mornin' cuz I am _beat!_ Later kitty!" he waved him off and continued onto his bedroom. One look in the mirrors told him that he would need a shower in the morning: he was covered in spunk. Angel chuckled and started disrobing. The thigh high boots came off with no argument (Velcro motherfucker!) but for some reason his fingers didn't want to undo the zipper. With a huff and a curse he gave up and just pulled the tight pink mini-dress off over his head, taking his long curly wig off with it. There was an indignant oink as he threw the dress and he sluggishly looked down as Fat Nuggets wriggled out from under the fabric.

"Aww, sorry Nuggs! I didnt-didnt see ya down there!"

The little pig oinked again, clearly offended, and Angel stooped down to pick him up, nearly loosing his precarious balance in the process. Fortunately he didn't get a face full of floor this time and with Fat Nuggets in his arms he stumbled over to the bed and threw himself onto it, the little pig curled into his side.

Tonight had been fun. Fuck, he needed more night like this, maybe next time he'd take Cherri along, raise a little Hell...

As he drifted off to sleep, his thoughts turned to what Husk had said at the bar, something about Charlie and Vaggie wanting to see him. Huh, maybe Charlie had found out about the false bottom in his dressing table where he stashed his drugs. Or maybe they wanted another three way, heh heh.

Ah, whatever, he'd find out in the morning. Probably wasn't that important, anyway.

*

The next morning saw him with a raging hangover and the urge to kill whoever the hell was knocking at his fucking door.

"Angel? Are you in there? Its Charlie and Vaggie, we need to talk to you, its really important!"

Oh, for fucks sake! With a deep groan he rolled himself out of bed, grabbed his silky pink robe and dragged himself to the door. His head throbbed with all the movement and he hissed, clutching his head. Fuck, he needed an aspirin...

"Angel? Are you awake?"

"I'm fuckin' comin'!"

He threw on his robe and then he threw open the door, rubbing his face. Vaggie and Charlie were standing there, the former not looking at him and her arms crossed over her chest, but that was nothing out of the ordinary "What the fuck do ya want?"

Charlie opened her mouth, then closed it, then opened it again "We, uuh, we-we need to talk to you! Angel!"

"Yeah?" Angel scratched his forehead "Bout what?" 

"Uuuuuuh..." Charlie bit her lip and her fingers danced anxiously in front of her "Uuuuuuh...well...um..."

Oh for fucks sake he was too hung over for this shit! "Did ya come here just to 'Um' at me? Spit it out, already!"

Charlie squeaked, blushed, and twitched "Uh..."

Just as Angel was about to slam the door in her face, Vaggie decided to make her presence known "Look, this isn't something that can be discussed in a hallway, okay? Can you come with us to Charlie's office?"

Angel looked at her. Vaggie held his gaze, but even his hungover ass could see the effort it took. The fuck was this? Why were they being so awkward?

...Holy shit, they _were_ gonna ask him for another fucking three way! Well, it beat the morning group sessions.

"Whatever, just gimme ten minutes, I gotta wash the jizz outta my fur"

And he shut the door in their faces before anything more could be said. Though he did hear Vaggie spit out some violent Spanish.

*

Twenty minutes later they were all sat in Charlie's brightly decorated office, Vaggie and Charlie sitting on one side of the desk while Angel played with a unicorn bobble head on the other. No sound could be heard other than the ticking of Charlie's clock, the little cloud-tipped second hand tick, tick, ticking around the smiling unicorn as the three of them sat there in silence. Vaggie was looking at her own crossed arms, Charlie was anxiously folding her fingers over each other.

Finally, Angel couldnt take it anymore "Okay, so what the fuck? Did you drag me down here just to bore me to death or what?"

Charlie jumped, her fingers broke apart "N-n-no! No, I-I didn't, uh...I-I mean _we!_ Brought you down here because...uhm...we-Vaggie-uhm...we have something...we need to...talk about..."

Angel arched an eyebrow. Didn't seem like Vaggie wanted to talk about anything, but the tension was so thick in here he could cut the damn thing, any idiot could figure out what was going on here. Angel uncrossed his legs.

"Okay. Look, I get why I'm here, alright?"

Charlies mouth dropped and Vaggie actually looked at him. Angel sighed and dropped the bobble head "You gals want another three way, dontcha?"

Vaggie face palmed and Charlie turned a violent shade of red.

"N-n-no! No, no, nothing like that-!" 

"Hey, I'm cool with it, ya know? Ya got a free taste, ya can't help but want more, I'm used to it, ya know? Everyone always wants a piece of Angel-"

"Oh, fuck this!"

Finally, Vaggie moved. She stood up, slammed her hands on the table, and pointed a finger so fiercely at Angel that he physical recoiled.

"Listen you conceited, pretentious, up-yourself asshole, remember when you gave me a 'Helping Hand' two months ago?"

Angel quickly nodded "Uh, yeah?"

"Well, guess what? _I'm pregnant you dick!"_

There was Complete. Silence.

Long minutes passed. Very long. The ticking of Charlie's clock was deafening.

Vaggie glared at Angel.

Charlie bit her nails.

Angel stared at Vaggie, the cogs in his mind turning over as he processed what she just said.

And then he laughed "W-what?! You gotta-you're fuckin' with me, right? Oh my God, shit, for a second there I really thought I was in trouble!" he tittered, wiping a tear out from under his eye. Had to hand it to the princess, she had a good head for pranks!

But Vaggie wasn't laughing. With an animalistic snarl Angels giggles cut off as Vaggie seized the front of his blazer and jerked him towards her, her eye blazing red and angry.

"Its not a fucking joke, you son of a bitch! I'm eight weeks pregnant. And its yours!"

Angel laughed again "No you're not!"

"Yes, I am!"

Angel frowned, his smile began to disappear "Okay, I understand commitin' to a bit but you've gotta stop, because I'm startin' to think you're not jokin'"

Vaggie growl-screamed and looked about an inch away from punching him, but just in time Charlie stood up and placed a hand on her arm, gently bringing her down until she was sitting once again.

"Vaggie, calm down, stress isn't good for you right now!" she said softly, and Vaggie glared at her.

Angel, watching this, chuckled nervously "Wow, you guys, uh...yeah, you commit!"

Charlie sighed, rose and turned towards him, a gentle sort of pity in her eyes that made Angel extremely uneasy.

"Angel, this isn't a joke. This is why we brought you down here, to tell you that Vaggies pregnant, we dont know how this happened, but it has, and-and you're the father!"

_Father._

Angel stared at them. They weren't kidding. Holy fucking shit, they weren't kidding!

_"WHAT THE HELL?!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I continue? Let me know in the comments.


	2. What Were You Expecting, A F*cking Trophy?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel realises that he's going to be a father and his reaction...well, it leaves something to be desired.

_"WHAT THE ACTUAL MOTHER FUCKIN' CUNT SUCKIN' COCK GRABBIN' TITTY BITING HELL!? WHAT?! YOURE PREGNANT?! IN HELL?! WHAT?!"_

"ANGEL WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP SCREAMING?!"

"OH IM SORRY PRINCESS, I MEAN I JUST FOUND OUT IM GONNA HAVE A KID IN A PLACE WHERE NO-ONES SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO EVEN HAVE KIDS BUT I GUESS THAT HAPPENS ALL THE FUCKIN' TIME!"

"HEY YOU THINK YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE THIS IMPACTS?! THIS EFFECTS ALL OF US YOU SON OF A BITCH SO WILL YOU SHUT-UP FOR TWO FUCKING SECONDS?!"

_"DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON YOU BITCH, WHAT THE FUCK?! YOU NEVER SAID THIS COULD HAPPEN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"_

_"I DIDNT KNOW!"_

_"BULLSHIT!"_

**_"STOP IT!"_ **

Charlie grabbed Vaggie before she could launch herself at the furious spider and forced her to sit back down. Vaggie was trembling, her face flushed and breathing hard, and Charlie gently touched her shoulder.

"Vaggie, please try to calm down. Stress isnt good for you right now!"

Vaggie buried her face in her hands and ran her fingers through her hair, taking deep, gulping breaths to calm herself as Charlie gently stroked her back, muttering soft words of comfort.

Angel watched all of this whilst he himself was on the brink of a panic attack. What the fuck, when was he gonna get comforted?!

But he guessed Vaggie was the priority here...being pregnant and all...with his kid...ah, _fuck!_

"Okay. Okay, okay, okay, ya know what? No. No fuckin' _way!_ This isn't possible, I'm not dealing with this shit, I'll see you crazy bitches later!"

The door slammed behind him before either woman could say anything. Vaggie, hunched over in her chair, dropped her head in exasperation.

"Well, that went about as well as I expected it to"

_THUD!_

They looked at the door, then Charlie went to it and took a look outside the office. There was a long sigh.

"Vaggie, Angel fainted"

The moth facepalmed "For fucks sake..."

*

Later Angel was laying on Charlies long couch, awake and fisting a hand in his hair "Okay...okay..." he took a deep breath and planted all four hands in his lap "Okay- _jesus!-_ someone wanna tell me how the fuck this even happened?"

Vaggie scoffed, dropped her hands and looked up at him through a thick veil of hair "You seriously need reminding?"

Angel hissed "I know _how_ it happened, smartass! But I mean...I mean, Jesus, we're all fuckin' dead! How the fuck do two dead people make a baby?!"

Vaggie threw her hands up in the air "I dont know! But we have!"

"And youre sure that youre pregnant? Like, 100% sure?"

With a scowl Vaggie whipped out all five pregnancy tests. All positive. Angel cursed, well that was damning...

"Shit..."

"Yeah. And now we need to decide what to do about it!"

"Do?" Angel looked at her "Waddya mean, 'Do?' you're gonna get rid of it?"

Vaggie opened her mouth, but her words seemed to be trapped in her throat. After a minute the anger and frustration etched into the lines of her face faded away, leaving behind the traces of uncertainty they concealed. She crossed her arms over her chest "I don't know. We...we haven't talked about it, yet"

Angel uncrossed his legs and sat up "Yeah? Well great. Why don't you two broads come and find me after ya figure it out, huh?"

"Angel, wait!" Charlie cried as the spider got to his feet "Y-you need to stay, we-we have to talk about this!"

"Yeah well, count me out, princess. You two do what ya want, I'm gettin' the hell outta here!"

Vaggie drove her fist so hard into the desk the wood cracked "Damn you, can't you think of anyone but yourself for just five minutes?!"

"I FUCKIN' GUESS NOT!" Angel roared, and with a yank that almost tore the door off its hinges, he was gone. 

Charlie rounded the desk, clearly meaning to go after him, but Vaggie reached out and grabbed her wrist. Charlie turned, about to ask why, but was stopped short when she saw the moisture shimmering in Vaggies eye.

"Forget it, Charlie" she said, her voice as hollow as an empty grave. With her free hand she wiped her eye furiously "Just forget it, okay? I knew something like this was going to happen, so just...just let it go, okay?"

Charlie wanted to argue, she wanted to go after him, but Vaggies hand clutched hers tightly, and she could feel her delicate fingers trembling. With a sigh she aquesiced, and instead came round to wrap her arms around Vaggies shoulders, pulling her head in to rest against her shoulder. Vaggie leaned into her touch, and Charlie loosed a breath against her as she gently stroked her hair.

"He's just the shock, sweetie. He'll come around, I know he will" 

She didn't know who she was trying to convince, Vaggie or herself, but when her moth wrapped her arms around her waist and pressed her face into her chest she held her tighter, tactfully ignoring the wetness that soaked into her shirt.

*

Angel didn't known where the fuck he was going, he just knew he needed to get the fuck out of the hotel. He felt like he was gonna throw up, his head was spinning and for some reason he couldn't fucking breathe! He stopped in the middle of the street, holding his chest but it just grew tighter. His breathing turned into short gasps. Shit, was he having a panic attack? Fuck, what did you do in a panic attack? Bend down, put your head between your knees and kiss your-wait, no, thats earthquakes.

Gasping, he stopped and placed a hand on a nearby wall and forced himself to breathe. After a while his lungs no longer felt like they were being strangled and the world came back into focus. Curling his fist he straightened his back and ran a hand through his hair.

He needed a fucking fix. Unfortunately, his stash was still at the hotel, and he wasn't setting foot in there anytime soon, if ever! Fortunately, he wasn't too far from a vending machine. Aah, the luxuries of being in Hell.

He went over, picked out his namesake and grabbed the baggie, but just as he pulled it out of the slot there was a rush of air and suddenly his hand was empty.

"HA! TOO SLOW, FREAK!"

_ARE YA FUCKIN' KIDDING ME?!_

A snarl curling his lips Angel tore after the skinny little shit in a denim jacket, but the fucker was fast, too fast, and he lost him down the back of an alley between a bar and a sex shop. He swore and punched the wall, gaining nothing but a throbbing hand.

Shit, what the fuck was he gonna do now?! That had been the last of his fucking cash! He looked up at the bar next to him and after a moment of thought, shrugged. Why pay for something when some lowlife could get it for you?

He rounded the corner and went into the dive bar. Immediately he felt eyes on him, sliding over his body like so many hands. Easy pickings.

Angel forced on his award winning smile, and placed a cocky hand low on his hip.

"So. Which one'a you wants to buy me a drink?"

*

He woke up several hours later on a couch that wasn't his, one bitch of a headache and a swollen eye. Angel Dust groaned, pushing himself up with one hand pressed on a thick, silky cushion. He caught the scent of flowers. Honeysuckle. Familiar. Molly? Was he in Mollys apartment? How the hell did he get in here?

Another hand balled against his forehead as he sat up. It felt like someone was trying to drill their way through his skull with a fucking jack hammer.

"Fuuuuuck!" he hissed, and another sound cut through his brain like a knife.

"Hey, he's awake!"

Wait, he knew that voice.

"Fucking finally! Its been fucking hours!"

That one, too.

He cracked his eyes open just as two women approached him, one with a pespiring glass of water in her hands. Angel took the glass and gratefully chugged it, but winced when he felt a cut on his lip open up. What the hell did he do?

He handed the glass back and familiar hands took it, and he looked up to see Cherri Bomb and Molly standing above him, one annoyed and the other concerned.

Ah crap "Hey babes, either of ya gonna tell me how I got here?"

Molly opened her mouth but Cherri beat her to the punch "By being a fucking moron, thats how! Who picks a fight with a fucking hellhound _alone!_ Ya could've at least called me you dumbass!"

A fight? With a hellhound? What the fuck possessed him to-?

Oh wait, now he remembered.

*

_They were fucking in the alley, him and a buff Hellhound named...Clark? Clint? Something beginning with C he couldn't fucking remember-and it was all going well, Angel dolling out fake moans and arching his back in a perfect porn star bend, riding a cocaine high his new friend had so charitably shared. Whats-his-name grunted behind him and bit his shoulder, there was a swelling, and Angel knew the guy was going to come._

_And then it all went tits up._

_"You like that, you horny slut?"_

_Angel released another camera-perfect moan "Oh yeah! Oh, you feel so good, baby!"_

Baby.

_Ah fuck, why did he have to say that? He forced himself to push it out of his mind and concentrated on the brick wall in front of him._

_"Yeah-uhn! Fuck! You gonna come for Daddy? Gonna come all over Daddy's big fat cock?"_

Daddy.

_Shit, that just made everything worse. Before he could stop himself, he snarled._

_"Don't fuckin' say that..."_

_The Hellhound grunted as he shoved himself harder into Angel. He sniggered._

_"Aw, what's the matter, you don't want me to be your Daddy? Don't wanna be Daddy's horny little slut?"_

_"Fuckin' stop"_

_"Too bad, baby" the Hellhounds hot breath washed wetly over his ear as a damp tongue licked the side of his head "Cuz Daddy's gonna give you all he's fuckin' got, and you're gonna come so hard for your Da-"_

_Then Angel slammed his elbow into his face._

*

It was all pretty much a blur after that, he remembered getting the shit kicked out of him and then it all went black.

Angel flipped back on the couch with a huff, then winced. Looks like he got a couple of cracked ribs, too.

"Angel!" Cherri snapped, and he grunted.

"What?!"

"You wanna tell us what the fuck happened?"

Did he hell. He shrugged "Punk wouldn't take no for an answer so I decked him, and he didn't take that for an answer, either, what else is there to tell?"

He didn't see Molly and Cherri exchange a look above him, but when he felt the couch dip he took his hand off his face and saw his sister sitting beside his legs, her forehead creased with familial concern "Angie...when we came to get ya, it wasn't just because you got beat up. The bartender found ya, he said...well..." 

"You were acting crazy" Cherri continued bluntly, standing next to his head with her arms crossed "Talking all kinds of crazy shit about daddies and babies and you wouldn't stop"

Angel tensed. _Fuck!_

He tried to throw them off with a glib chuckle "Wow. I guess I must'a really been trippin', huh? Well, that's the last time I buy Bolivian marchin' powder off of an imp!"

Once again, Molly and Cherri exchanged a look. There seemed to be a mental argument. Molly lost.

"Angel...is everything okay?"

"I'm fine" Angel snapped, far to harshly to be believed and he fucking knew it. He breathed out "Just...took some bad coke, is all"

Cherri snorted "Bullshit, I've seen you on coke and you've never acted like that before. Come on, Angie, what's wrong?"

Angel growled viciously "Nothing! For fucks sake, I'm-"

"Don't say fine! You are not fine! You were talking in your fucking sleep, too, so what the fuck is up, Angel?"

"Fuck off, Cherri" Angel growled.

"Angie, we just want to help you" said Molly.

"I don't need any help!"

"Please, babe, just talk to us!"

"I don't want to! I don't wanna talk about it, I don't wanna think about it, just leave me the fuck alone!"

Molly bit her lip. She looked up at Cherri "Babe, maybe we should-"

"Fuck no" Cherri shook her head and with no warning she kicked the side of the couch, jostling Angels broken ribs.

"OW! BITCH!"

"TALK!" she kicked the couch again and Molly winced.

"That couch is new, y'know..."

"For fucks sake, I'll buy you a new one! Angel! Youre never this stupid by yourself so you either tell us what the fuck is going on or I swear to God I'm gonna shove a firecracker so far up Fat Nuggets' ass!"

Angel loosed an angry scream, covering his face with two of his hands, his head and ribs were throbbing, his temper on a hair trigger. His mouth was moving before he could stop it.

"I'M HAVING A FUCKIN' BABY! ALRIGHT?!"


	3. Decisions, decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Angels abrupt departure, Vaggie and Charlie talk about what to do next and what their options are.

Vaggie sat on the bed in her and Charlie's bedroom, a cup of tea folded in her hands. The liquid had gone lukewarm by now but the cup was still full. It sat in her hands and her fingers tapped absent mindedly against it.

_"You gonna get rid of it?"_

That was what Angel had said, right before he walked out on them. The thought had occurred to her, briefly when she'd seen the first positive pregnancy test, but that thought had been shoved down, buried away so she didn't have to think about it.

But now the words had been said out loud, and they were rolling round and round in her head like a twisted ferris wheel.

Could she get rid of it? Did she want to? It would solve so many problems if she did. She wouldn't have to worry about labour, about raising a baby-how could she raise a baby in Hell? How could _she_ raise a baby at all? She had never been good with kids, she never knew what to do with them and there was so much that could go wrong! You had to hold their head the right way and somehow magically know what they wanted all the time, and nursing. What the hell did she know about nursing?!

She felt a pressure on her belly and looked down to see that she had unconsciously pressed her mug against it, barely, just enough for her dress to dip in, but her belly was so sensitive now that she knew there was something _growing in there_ she bet she could've felt a speck of dust land on it.

She moved the cup away and put it down on the bedside table, taking a deep breath as she looked down at herself. Slowly she raised one hand to her abdomen. It was still flat, she wouldn't be showing for another three or four weeks, at least-

_Plenty of time to fix it._

Vaggie closed her eye. She made herself press her hand against her belly. Against the baby, and she felt...

Terror. Absolute fucking terror. There was a little human inside of her and she had no goddamn idea what to do with it. That wasn't right, was it? Mo-pregnant women were supposed to feel love, protectiveness. What did this fear mean? That she didn't love it? Didn't want it?

Her eye prickled with heat as she rubbed a hand across her belly, almost like an apology. Maybe everything would be better if she just-

Suddenly the bedroom door opened and Charlie walked in with two plates "Vaggie? I brought you a meatloaf sandwich, you said you were hungry for meat and I couldn't find any bacon, so-"

"It-its fine!" she quickly scrubbed her eye and turned around on the bed, welcoming the food. She couldn't drink tea but for some reason she couldn't stop eating, go figure. Or, goodbye figure. Since she was pregnant now...

"Thanks hun" she smiled as she took the sandwich and bit into it. Charlie sat beside her, her own sandwich on her lap, but she didn't pick it up. Her fingers tapped the edge of the plate.

"So, I, uh...I tried to call Angel"

Vaggie stopped eating "And why did you do that?"

"W-well, I thought maybe, once he'd calmed down-"

"What? That he'd come running back here with a giant teddy bear and baby clothes and suddenly want to be Father of The Year?" Vaggie said, but not unkindly "I love your optimism, hun, but I honestly think we'll be lucky if we ever see him ever again"

"Don't say that! He could still-!"

Vaggie raised a sharp hand "Charlie, I really don't want to talk about Angel anymore. As far as I'm concerned that bastard made his choice when he walked out of here" she savagely bit into her sandwich, chewing and swallowing like it was the heart of her enemy. Charlie sighed.

"Okay, okay, I won't bring him up again...c-can we talk about the baby instead?"

Vaggie almost choked "Uh..."

Charlie sighed, then shuffled across the bed until she was sat right beside Vaggie, their legs touching. She put a comforting hand on her thigh "Vaggie, before when we were talking...you said you didn't know if...if you were keeping it"

She saw Vaggie still for a moment, then loose a long breath as her shoulders sagged "Yeah, I...yeah"

Charlie swallowed. She forced herself to keep her face neutral, to be supportive no matter what "Is that what you want, Vaggie? Do you want an abortion?"

"I-I dont know! I dont...know..." Vaggie took a deep breath in, then let it out. She put her sandwich back on the plate and didn't seem to want to pick it up again anytime soon. She was no longer looking at Charlie "But it is something I'm thinking about"

Charlie felt something soft twist inside her. _Vaggies decision. Vaggies decision, her body, her baby, not yours!_ She squeezed the stockinged thigh.

" _Mi amore,_ whatever decision you make, I promise you will have my full support"

Vaggie clasped her hands in her lap, and Charlie heard a sniff. With a start she realised that Vaggie was crying.

"Oh! Oh no, no, no! Vaggie, hey..." quickly she pulled Vaggie into her arms and tucked the moths head into her shoulder as Vaggie proceeded to cry into her, shaking, silent sobs that were muffled by Charlie's jacket "Shh, sh sh sh, I've got you honey. Its okay, shhh"

"I-I don't know what to do!" Vaggie sobbed "I'm scared...I'm so scared, Charlie! I-I don't know how to do this!"

Charlie held her tighter "We'll figure it out, Vaggie" she stroked her arm, soothing her as slender grey arms wrapped tight around her waist.

"We'll figure it out together. I promise!"

*

Meanwhile, Angel felt like crying himself, though not from fear. Because if he was asked the same damn question one more damn time he was either gonna burst into hysterics or start shooting up the place!

"You're having a baby"

"For the last time, _yeah!"_

"With Vaggie. You're having a baby with the princesses girlfriend"

"Bitch, do I need to tattoo it on my fuckin' forehead? _Yes!"_

Cherri stared at him, her large eye wide and unblinking "YOU KNOCKED UP THE PRINCESS OF HELLS FUCKING GIRLFRIEND?!"

"FOR FUCKS SAKE BITCH HOW MANY TIMES ARE YA GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT OUT LOUD?!"

"UNTIL IT MAKES SENSE TO ME! HOW THE FUCK, I THOUGHT YOU WE COULDNT FUCKING DO THAT HOW THE FUCK?!"

"WELL, APPARENTLY WE CAN, OKAY?!"

"Okay. Fine. But SINCE WHEN DONT YOU USE A RUBBER YOU IDIOT? NOT GETTING KNOCKED UP 101, BITCH, _USE! PROTECTION!"_

" _SHE WAS IN HEAT IT WASNT MY FAULT!_

_"THE BITCH GOES INTO HEAT?! HOLY FUCK, HOW WAS IT?!"_

"OKAY, I THINK WE'RE GETTIN' A LITTLE OFF TRACK, HERE!" 

Molly finally spoke. They were sat around her neat little dinner table, Angel at the head and the girls sat either side of him, staring at him like he'd grown a third dick on his forehead. Once all the yelling had calmed down, Molly took a deep breath, pressed her hands together, and turned to her twin.

"Okay! Angie" she said, her voice calm and gentle "So, you're sayin' that Vaggies pregnant, and its your baby?"

Angel groaned into his hands "Yeeeees!" Jesus, how many more times did he need to say it?

Molly nodded, blinking her large eyes "Okay, well that's...okay" she took a deep breath and blew it out " _Okay!_ So, uh, what's she gonna do? Did she tell ya whether or not she's keepin' it?"

"She said she doesn't know"

"And how far along is she?"

"Two months"

"Woah, woah, woah!" Cherri interrupted from her side "Youre telling me you fucked Vaggie _two months ago_ and I'm only just hearing about it now? Bitch, what the fuck?!"

Angel growled and Molly quickly jumped up before he could fly over the table and tackle her "Uh, baby, could ya go and make us some coffee or somethin'? I think-I think we could all use somethin' to drink!"

Cherri raised her eyebrow, then both her hands "Okay, I get it, you guys have your twin talk, I'm gonna go see if we have any booze!"

"I said coffee!"

"Yeah, I heard you, Irish Coffee, got it!" she patted Molly on the shoulder as she passed and walked out of the room before her girlfriend could correct her. She rolled her eyes and turned back her brother, who by now had his forehead on the table and was groaning pitifully.

Molly sighed, reached over and patted his back "Angie? Honey? Could you lift up your head up for me, please?"

Angel rolled his head to the side so that he was looking at her. Molly waited. Yep, that was as good as she was gonna get.

"Angel, what do you want to happen right now?"

Angels chin wobbled "To go back in time and remember ta wear a mother fuckin' rubber!"

"Yeeeah, somehow I don't see that happening anytime soon. C'mon, Angie, ya know what I mean"

Another hand closed over one of his, its grip soft and comforting, and some of the blind panic and overwhelming misery slipped away. He gripped Mollys hand back and sat up.

"I...I don't know what I want, Moll" he admitted, running a free hand through his hair, flattening his vulminous fringe against his head "Besides, it doesn't even matter. Vaggie was never much for kids, she'll probably just get rid of it, anyways"

"And how does that make ya feel?"

"What are ya, a fuckin' therapist?"

"Angel"

Angel huffed, leaning back in his chair. He tried to think about it, but it was like the image was lost in a swirling, tornado-like cascade of too many emotions and it kept slipping from his grasp, like it was running away from him. The very idea that he was going to be a...a...a fath-

"It feels like...like somethin' I don't wanna think about right now"

"Angie-"

Angel took his hand from hers "Moll, I can't think about it right now, okay? Its just it-its like it's too big! I just...I need to..." he trailed off. Fuck, he didn't know what he needed. Right now all he wanted was for all of this to not be happening.

_Fat chance, slut._

_Fuck off!_

Molly sighed, and it was clear that she was disappointed. To Angels relief she had mercy on him and didn't force the issue "Alright, I get it, ya need time"

"Thankyou!" God, he loved her so damn much.

"But what're ya gonna do when ya go back to the hotel? Ya can't just avoid Vaggie forever!"

Fuck! "I don't think I'm goin' back. I'm not ditchin' her, dont look at me like that! I just need some time, like ya said. I'll find somewhere to crash for a while and then-"

"Fuck that. Ya wanna stay here?"

Angel stared at her "Moll-"

"Hey, there is now way in the nine circles that I'm lettin' my little brother stay in some crappy motel or at that fuckin' Studio while he needs to get his head on straight. We'll set the spare room up for ya, you can bring Fat Nuggets!"

"Okay one, I'm only like four minutes younger than you and two, what about Cherri? Sure ya want me crashing in your little love nest?"

Molly turned "HEY BABY!"

"WHAT?"

"MIND IF ANGIE STAYS FOR A FEW DAYS?"

"SURE! BUT IF HE TRIES TO KNOCK ME UP NEXT IM CUTTIN' IT OFF!"

"YOU WISH, SUGER TITS!" Angel bellowed, much to Cherris audible amusement. Molly turned back with a smile.

"See, she's cool! So how about it?"

Despite himself, Angel smiled too. He had planned on going to a motel or even back to his old apartment-his greasy old landlord would probably let him back if he sucked his dick-but he had to admit, staying with Moll and Cherri was a sweeter alternative. At least he'd be around bitches he could party with.

Still, he propped an elbow on the table and rested his cheek on his hand "Does this mean I'm gonna be walkin' in on you two havin' scissor fights on the couch?"

"Only if you're lucky, bitch!" Cherri walked in just then holding, not coffee, but a large bottle of tequila and three shot glasses. Molly rolled her eyes as the cyclops raised her bounty "Who wants to get fucked up?"

"Cherri no!"

"Cherri _yes,_ pour, bitch, pour!" after the day he'd had he could use a goddamn drink. Or ten.

Cherri happily poured the shots and, once everyone too theirs, she raised her own with an evil smile "A toast! To Angels newfound fertility!"

_CRASH!_

"ANGEL!"

Cherri ducked just in time to avoid the shot glass aimed at her head and rose laughing. She then pulled another shot glass out of her cleavage "Lucky for you, I can prepared! Probably like you should-"

"I will literally, eat, your fuckin' heart" 

Cherri smiled sweetly. She poured liquor into the glass, passed it to him silently and sat down to join them in a drink "I'll go get your shit for you later if ya want"

"Thanks. And hey, if you see the girls-"

Cherri raised her hands "I'll be good, I wont even make a fat joke! But don't hate me if I flirt with the strawberry pimp"

Angel shrugged "Eh, I don't care"

"Um, _I_ care!"

Molly slammed her shot glass down and Angel watched as they dissolved into a heated argument that would definitely be resolved by some hot sex later on.

For the first time that day Angel chuckled, and for a moment he felt some of the crushing weight that had been grinding him down start to lift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta love MollyBomb. Now, for those of you waiting for the next chapter of High School Reunion From Hell, the draft is finished and the chapter will be out soon. Comment, kudos, constructive criticism is always welcome :3


	4. Long For Some, Short For Others

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time. For some it goes far too quickly, something Vaggie is about to find out.

Angel Dust was gone for three days, and with each one that passed Vaggie wanted him dead more and more.

On the day that he left Molly and Cherri Bomb had arrived and taken a few of his things, including Fat Nuggets. Charlie said that they asked about her-because of course they knew!-but the princess hadn't given them much, just that she was thinking things over and that she needed some time.

And by God wasn't that the truth!

According to some medical books she'd read in the hotel library, a pregnancy in Hell was pretty much the same as one in the living world, which meant that she now had less than a month to decide whether or not she wanted to keep the baby. Somehow, it didn't seem like enough time and also too much. Dammit, why couldn't she just decide? The problem wasn't going to go away by itself!

_Is that what this is now? A problem?_

The thought startled her, and her hand rose to her stomach, like it was wont to do sometimes when she was alone. Right now she was in her office, trying to get some paperwork done for the admittance for a new patient to the hotel, but her thoughts just kept drifting towards the baby, her choices, and-hardest to admit-Angel Dust. And those were mostly about how pissed she was at him.

She tried to rationalise it, because really, what did she expect? He was a porn star, a selfish junkie, how could she even entertain the possibility that he would give a crap about his own kid? He was probably out there right now, getting drunk or high or fucked and not even sparing a thought for her or the kid they made.

That was what got her the most mad. How could he just leave her with this, this huge decision on her shoulders while he got to go out there and do whatever the fuck he wanted, not giving a shit about anyone or anything but himself! It made her furious, the fact that she had to carry this all by herself, be dumped with all of this responsibility and meanwhile where was he? Gone. Off with his sister and her pyromaniac girlfriend, filling their head with sob stories about how hard this was for _him._

A pen snapped in her hand and she cursed as it oozed all over the paperwork. Fucking dammit!

She looked around for a cloth or a wet wipe or something. Finding none, she left the room and went downstairs to poach a napkin from the reception desk. On her way she was pleased to find Charlie, arguing with Husk about how much booze he was drinking.

"I'm just saying if you cut down a _little,_ just a _little-"_

"No"

"Just enough to stay awake! Yesterday a Hellsprite got in and tried to steal all the silver!"

"Did it get the silver?"

"Well...no, but-"

"Then I don't see a problem. You got a problem with my drinkin', take it up with Al, princess"

"I...I...maybe I will!" Charlie cried determinedly. Husk arched a thick eyebrow and took a long drink of booze.

Charlie huffed furiously and started to stomp away, but upon seeing Vaggie her eyes lit up with relief "Hey! Uh, what happened to your hands?" 

"I had a fight with a pen" she held up her stained hands "Don't worry though, I won"

Charlie quickly grabbed some napkins off of the bar "Well, we'd better get it off fast! Ink is toxic, if it gets into your bloodstream it could hurt-!"

Mercifully she stopped herself before she could blurt out Vaggies 'situation'. They hadn't told anyone else yet, Vaggie wanting to keep it quiet until she decided what she wanted to do, but sometimes Charlie tended to have moments that made her heart stop for a minute.

Silent the princess came forward and started wiping at Vaggies hands herself. Smiling, the moth took some from her and wiped away at the ink herself. Ever since Charlie found out she was pregnant she had become much more attentive, though it had only been three days she had become much more protective of Vaggie and seemed to want her to do nothing herself. Yesterday she had come in carrying two lightly loaded shopping bags and Charlie nearly threw a fit.

 _She wants me to keep it._ It was clear as day, even without her saying it. It wasn't even her kid but the fact that Vaggie, the woman she loved, was carrying it, made her love it too. Vaggie had little doubt that Charlie would make a wonderful mother, and as she dutifully cleaned any missed patches of skin of ink she wished for the millionth time that this baby wasn't a heat-feulled mistake, but rather something they had made together.

_If it was Charlie's baby, would I even be considering an abortion right now?_

"Okay, I think you got it all!"

"There's still a little on your neck, just let me-!"

"I can get it!" she gently pushed Charlie back and dabbed at herself. How did she even get it on her neck, how much splash range did ink have? Once done, she presented herself "Gone?"

After a rigerous optical inspection that made her want to laugh, Charlie nodded "Yes, you're all clean. Good!"

"Good. Wanna go get some lunch? I'm starving"

"Of course!" Charlie looped an arm through Vaggies and together they started towards the kitchen "What're you hungry for? Fajitas? Omelette? Something with fish? Or we have yogurt if your not feeling savoury..."

Vaggie let Charlie prattle on. It was a struggle to keep the smile on her face, watching her go on naming foods that she knew, if she looked it up, would all come up as good for child development. They had gotten to the kitchen and Charlie was pulling out ingredients for a grilled four cheese sandwich when Vaggie said it.

"You really want me to keep it, don't you?"

Charlie almost dropped the block of lechestier orange and awkwardly threw it onto the counter. She stared at Vaggie with wide eyes, a damning blush on her cheeks.

Vaggie leaned against the table, carefully not letting her belly press against it "Its okay, you can be honest with me, hun"

Despite the soft words, it was still a moment before Charlie said anything, like she was bracing herself. Her hands fisted on the counter.

"I just...I don't wanna put any pressure on you..."

Vaggie walked around the table and took Charlie's hand in hers, stoking her clenched fist until it softened and opened against her palm "Just tell me what you're thinking, Charlie. Its okay"

Charlie took a deep breath, and met Vaggies eye "I...always wanted a family. Ever since I was little I would imagine what it would be like, me raising a baby with someone I loved" her hand squeezed Vaggies slender grey one "And I-I know that the baby isn't mine, I _know_ that, but, well...just you being pregnant, having a baby that we could raise together, its everything I've ever wanted Vaggie. I know its not what you want to hear right now, and I dont want to try and change your mind or force you into something that you don't want because that's not my call!...But if you do decide to keep it, there's nothing I would want more than to raise this baby with you, Vaggie"

One hand stroked over her belly, and Vaggie let her do it. Her heart felt like it was being harranged through a taffy puller. She swallowed and clutched Charlie's hand.

"If...and its a big If, Charlie, I'm promising nothing-"

"I'm not asking you to!"

"If, I decided to...have the baby-" a brief flash of violent panic flared at the very thought "-then what would we do about the hotel? How could we be parents and managers at the same time?"

Charlie shrugged "We could figure something out! People have babies all the time in the living world, don't they? They manage it!"

"Yeah, with nannies and childminders and a shit-ton of money"

"I have money" Charlie smiled "There's still plenty of my trust fund left over to get everything we need. Plus, maybe Angel will come back and then he could help us!"

Whatever warm feeling that had been growing in the moth hardened into rock the moment Charlie spoke the porn stars name. She dropped the princess' hand and stepped back, and Charlie's smile fell as she realised that she'd said the wrong thing.

"You honestly think that Angels going to come back?" Vaggie asked flatly.

"I-I said maybe! I mean, its not so implausible, once he gets over the shock of it all-"

"Yeah, well I wouldn't hold my breath if I were you!" Vaggie spat "You saw the way he stormed out of here, he doesn't give a damn about this! He only cares about his stupid reputation and where his next hits coming from! Hes nothing but a selfish asshole, Charlie, and he's not coming back!"

She walked out of the kitchen before Charlie could say anything else, food forgotten. She wasn't hungry anymore.

*

_"CUT!"_

Angel swore and dropped his hands from the shoulders of the burly 'Doctor' that was rutting into him. He slumped over the ratty gurney as the director marched up to the stage.

"What the fuck is your problem, today?! You're about as responsive as a fucking court room doll!"

"Hey, I'm doin' everything the script says, buddy!"

"You're not doing enough! Sinners wanna see the hot and horny Angel Dust, not a shitty sex doll. Fuck!" the director wiped a palm across his sweaty forehead and raised the shiny palm up "Everyone take five! And when we come back I wanna see life in your dumb pink ass, or I'm calling your boss!"

"Oooh, gonna tell Daddy on me? I'm _sho scawered!"_

"FUCK OFF!"

*

"Seriously man, what's the matter? You've been acting weird all fuckin' day"

Angel and his co-star sat smoking in fold out chairs near the stage. In lieu of responding the spider took another drag. Popper was an okay guy, he and Angel had worked together in several movies and they knew eachother pretty well, but he would be double damned if he was gonna spill his guts to him.

"Doesn't concern ya, buddy, don't worry about it"

"Don't it? Look Ange, I don't know what's going on with you and frankly, I don't care. But unless you start pulling your finger out in the next take, Big Daddy's gonna kill us both!"

Angel blew out smoke and scratched his head. Popper was right, of course, he needed to get his head in the game or Val would kick both their assesinto next week. Unfortunately that was easier said than done when you had his kinda shit going on.

He'd tried, God knew he'd tried not to think about it, but it was like his mind was fucking programmed to do exactly what he didn't want or something! For the last three days his head had been spinning, from the moment he woke up to the long hours he spent staring at the ceiling at night, the fact that he was gonna be a...that Vaggie was pregnant with his kid.

That she was thinking about getting rid of it, too. That thought came up a _lot._

He took another drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke into the ceiling "Look, I'm just havin' some trouble sleepin', alright? I'll do better once I actually get some fuckin' shut eye!"

"Is that right?" Popper asked, and Angel could recognise that tone from a mile off "Well, maybe ya need to come out with me tonight, let off a little steam..." he felt Poppers burly shoulder press against his, and couldn't help but grin. He turned with a raised brow.

"Yeah? How unusually thoughtful of ya, Pops!"

"Hey, whatever I can do to help!"

"Me, or your thirsty ass dick?"

Popper rumbled a laugh and laid a hand on Angels thigh "Can't it be both, baby?" he murmered into his ear "Besides, we both know you love my thirsty ass dick..."

Angel giggled, leaning into him. The demon did not lie, he did love that big black cock. Maybe a night on the town was just the thing he needed right now. He leaned forward and caught Poppers lips in a kiss, letting his co-stars aggressive mouth tongue fuck his problems to the back of his mind. He wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him close, feeling his exposed dick harden against his thigh.

"BREAKS OVER! POPPER! ANGEL! GET OVER HERE!"

"Ah shucks..." Angel sighed as he drew away. Poppers pupils were blown with arousal and his dick twitched against the spiders leg "Time to get back to work, baby"

Popper growled "Fucking tease..."

"Aww, lemme make it up to ya. On camera" Angel winked. 

Popper laughed "And you call me thirsty, ya fucking slut!" he slapped Angel on the back and walked towards the stage. His back was turned so he didn't see the way Angels smile wilted, just a little.

"Yep" he sighed, taking a final drag off of his cigarette "I guess I am a fuckin' slut"

He always had been, always would be. Sex and booze and drugs, thats what Angel Dust was about, he didn't do responsibility, he didn't play happy families, and he didn't do kids. It wasn't meant for him.

"ANGEL WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

"Just another fuckin' slut in Hell" he crushed his cigarette, tossed it behind him, and went to finish the take.

*

Staying Pregnant-Pros and Cons

Cons

  1. I know nothing about kids
  2. No money ever again, it all goes on baby junk.
  3. Morning sickness.
  4. Labour. I hear its uncomfortable (HAHAHAHAHA(!)
  5. Never sleep again.
  6. Babies cry. Like a lot. Like, do they think they're dying from the moment they're born or something?
  7. Babies grow into teenagers and teenagers are the Antichrist in human form. Or demon form. Whatever.
  8. Kid will probably hate me eventually.
  9. Kid will eventually ask about their father and I don't know how to deal with that. FUCK YOU ANGEL!!!



Pros

  1. It would make Charlie happy.



Vaggie tapped her pen against her notepad as she tried to think of another pro, but none came to mind. What was it her _abuela_ used to say? Having a baby means you have someone of your very own to love. Well, that was bullshit, just ask her mom, she was probably up there right now in the living world, drinking and popping enough pills to kill an elephant. 

Vaggie held her face in her hands, looking down at the notepad like the wodge of paper could give her the answers, but it remained stubbornly inanimate. She ran her hands through her hair and blew out a long breath. She sat there, thinking Asgard as she could until her head hurt but she could think of nothing, not one more single reason why she could keep the baby.

So. That was it, then. Guess her decision was made.

She drew one hand out of her hair and laid it against her flat belly, her heart heavy in her chest as she thought about how it would never unflatten, never grow. 

"I'm sorry, tiny" she whispered "I am, but I'm not ready for this. Its not your fault, I just, I can't be a mom"

Her voice cracked and she tugged hard at her hair with her free hand, hard enough to bring tears to her eye. At least thats what she told herself.

Ten minutes later she called Charlie up to her room. By the time she arrived her face was clean and her hands were folded in her lap.

"I've made up my mind" she said, her voice forcefully steady "I want the abortion"

Charlie was silent. Vaggies hands clenched. Then the princess sighed, and nodded.

"Okay. I know someone who can do it. We'll make an appointment, okay?"

Vaggie nodded, her knuckles were white "Okay"

Charlie came forward and wrapped her arms around the moth, holding her gently as Vaggie clung to her and allowed the tears to finally flow.

*

"Ah! Ah! Ah my God-FUCK!"

Angels back arched in a perfect curve as he came on Poppers dick, slumping forward into the demons ebony chest as he panted. He felt Popper breathe harshly against his cheek and grinned, a delicious mix of PCP, cocktails and good dick adding up to one of the best highs Hell had to offer. He rolled off of Poppers lap and laid against the silken red sheets of the bed, sighing softly.

"Want a smoke?" Popper asked, his voice ragged, and Angel raised a hand for the proffered cigarette, the rush of nicotine the cherry on top of a good night.

"Fuck, this was a good idea" he keened softly as he stretched out on the bed, his sore body aching deliciously at the movement. Popper handed him a lighter.

"I told you the Red Room was a good place to unwind!"

"Honey, ya don't need to tell me that, I was here when it was built"

"Fuck, you're old"

"Blow me, when were ya born, 1920?"

"1925, and I still look fuckin' boss!"

They laughed together and then laid in companiable silence, smoking their cigarettes and just relaxing. After they finished the take they headed over to the Red Room, set up a tab they never intended to pay and sweet talked a couple of big shot executives at Vox's studio into sharing their drugs. Afterwards they ditched them for one of the Red Rooms luxury suite and made damn good use of the facilities.

Angel hummed and wrapped an arm behind his head "This was a really good night, Pop"

"Yeah, you said" Popper sounded on the brink of sleep. Too bad PCP gave Angel really bad motor mouth.

"Ya can't have nights like this when ya got responsibilities, buddy, y'know that? Ya can't drink, can't do drugs, Hell, ya can't even fuckin' swear! Who the fuck needs all that noise?"

Popper hummed. His eyes were shut.

"Not me, buddy" Angel continued, smoking his cigarette down to the filter "Not fuckin' me. I don't care what they do with it, just leave me out of it, ya know what I'm talkin' about?"

Popper snored. Angel blew out a stream of smoke.

"Not like I'd even be good at it, anyway. What kind of parent would a porn star make, huh? Just end up traumatizin' the fuckin' kid, anyway. Just like my Dad did"

The body beside him groaned in his sleep and rolled onto his belly. Angel crushed the smouldering filter between his fingers and tossed it across the room. He wound his other arm behind his head and looked up at the ceiling.

"...Its better off without me, anyways"

His bedpartner continued to snore, and Angel stayed there until he was certain he was out for the count. Then he got up, dressed, lifted Poppers wallet, and left.

*

When Angel walked back into the apartment he could hear soft sounds coming from the girls bedroom, Cherri's sultry tone followed by a breathy giggle. He rolled his eyes, at least he wasn't finding them on the couch!

He closed the door behind him and locked it with an audiable snap. There was a little gasp, then Molly's voice called out.

"Angel? You home?"

"Yeah, yeah. Don't mind me, go back to doin' what you were doin'"

"W-we weren't doing anythin'!"

"Yeah, you interrupted before we got to the good part, you fucking clam-jam!"

"CHERRI!"

Angel walked into the darkened living room and allowed his body to flop down on the couch. He was coming down and his head ached with exhaustion. He buried his face into the couch cushions and kicked his legs up onto the armrest. Screw the spare room, it was too far away, he'd just nap here.

"Angel? You awake?"

Or not. He sluggishly rolled his head and saw Molly standing in the hallway in a fluffy pink robe, her hair loose and curly around her body. He raised a lazy palm and Molly came in and sat on the arm rest next to his head.

"Fun night?"

Angel shrugged "Meh, same old same old. Thought about gettin' some shut-eye but this big pink cotton-ball won't let me"

"Oh, hilarious!" she tapped the side of his head with her leg and Angel raised it so that she could sit down. He laid his head on her lap and she began to card her fingers tenderly through his hair. Angel hummed, it felt nice...

"Wanna watch some t.v?"

Angel shook his head "Nah, headache"

"Okay"

They sat together in silence for a while, and Angel felt his eyes droop as Molly softly stroked his hair, headache ebbing away under her gentle hands. He could've fallen asleep right there, were it not for the fact that he knew his twin so very well. He wriggled against the couch and opened his eyes.

"So what didja come out here for, sis? Arentcha supposed to be gettin' wrecked by your girlfriend by now?"

"GOOD FUCKING QUESTION!" Cherri yelled from the bedroom. They both ignored her, and Molly made a soft sound.

"I just wanted to talk to ya"

Oh, fuck me "About what?"

"I think you know"

Angel shut his eyes. His headache was coming back.

"Angel, its been three days"

"I don't wanna talk about it"

"I know, but I think we have to talk about it" she stroked his hair again, her voice gentle "And you know it"

Angel groaned and pressed his face into her four legged lap. He was not in the mood for this shit right now, he should've just stayed at the goddamn club!

"Have ya thought anymore about it, Angie? About Vaggie, and the baby?"

"...No" he lied. Molly sighed.

"Come on, we both know thats a big old lie. I know you, baby brotha, somethin' this big, you've done nothin' _but_ think about it"

Angels hand curled into a fist. That was the pain in the ass of growing up together, half the time she knew what was going on in his head before he even did. He huffed, and let his arm flop onto the ground.

"There's hardly anythin' ta think about, Moll. If she doesn't keep it, what I want is irrelevant. If she does, then the kids better off without me, anyway"

"Why do ya think that?"

"Why?" had she hit her head in the past few days? "Molly, I'm a junkie and a fuckin' hooker, hardly father of the year material"

"Ya don't have to be. You could quit"

Angel rolled around so that he was on his back, facing her "Yeah? Great, so I'll just walk up to Val tomorrow and tell him that I wanna quit all the sex and drugs and movies, I'm sure he'd be just fine with that!" he crossed his arms over his chest and stomach and huffed. Val's reaction didn't bear thinking about.

Molly hummed, conceding "Yeah, good point...But there's somethin' ya haven't considered, Angie"

"What?"

"Do you want your baby?"

_Your baby._

Angel stiffened on Molly's couch. A weird, warm feeling flooded into his body along with an ice cold dagger of fear. He was silent for a while, and Molly mercifully let him be as he ride the strange new emotions out.

Did he want the kid. Million doller question right there, eh? When he was young he'd had moments of entertaining the idea of a family, particularly when their dad used to piss them off. He'd tell himself that when he had kids, he'd raise them better than Henroin, that he'd love them no matter what, and if his sons wanted to wear a dress and dance in the backyard then they damn well could! 

As he got older and realised that marrying a woman that was okay with the whole 'I Like To Wear Girls Clothes' thing was probably not gonna happen, he'd tried to push those thoughts out of his head, but he'd still find himself wondering, sometimes, what it would be like, to have a teeny tiny version of himself around, someone he could bring up without his family's prejudices, someone who would love him unconditionally, an adorable little legacy with his eyes and killer right hook.

Then came his hooker days. Then the overdose. Then Val, and he'd pretty much kept himself high enough to never think about it again. Until tonight.

Finally, when he realised that he wasn't actually breathing, he let one out in a long gust and pressed a hand to his forehead.

"...Doesn't matter what I want. Vaggies probably gonna get rid of it, anyway"

"Maybe...but what if she doesn't?"

Fuckin' hell, she didn't give up! He sat up and ran a hand through his hair "Then the kid will be better off with me outta the picture. I know it, you know it, and the gals know it, too! I don't wanna talk about it anymore, got it?"

He looked over his shoulder at his sister. She looked sad, which made his heart twist, but she nodded.

"Okay. I won't bring it up anymore"

"Good. I'm goin' ta bed"

"Okay. Night Angie" 

Angel waved dismissively behind him as he walked out of the living room and went to his borrowed one. Fat Nuggets laid in his pet bed by the wall, his water dish half full and his food bowl empty. Angel huffed, then grabbed the bag of pig feed and filled it before patting the snoozing pig and undressing. 

He laid down in the perkily pink bed and stared up at the ceiling, exhausted but unable to close his eyes. He was so tired, but now he couldn't stop thinking. Molly had reawakened some old memories and they were swirling around in his head, hitting him over and over like a hammer to his brain. 

What kind of a father could he be, anyway? Lifestyle aside, the only father figure he'd ever had was a homophobic bastard who'd done nothing but emotionally and physically abuse him and his siblings until the day he'd finally been taken out during a drug deal in 1940.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. He didn't wanna think about it anymore. It took a while, but eventually he drifted off, Fat Nuggets sleepy oinks and the muted sounds of Cherri and Molly talking accompanying him into an uneasy slumber.

*

Vaggie woke up before Charlie the next morning. She looked down at her girlfriend, her hair tousled from sleep and a little frown on her face. Vaggie had felt her tossing and turning in the night, only resting when Vaggie had taken her into her arms and held her. Charlie didn't say a word, but that didn't stop Vaggie from feeling horribly guilty.

She gently untangled her arms from Charlie now, needing the bathroom, and as she took care of business she thought about all the stuff they had to do today. They had to call Charlie's friend for one thing, set up an appointment. 

Vaggie closed her eye and pressed her head into her hands. She was making the right choice. She _was_. She wasn't ready for this, this...this was the best thing for everyone! Later on they would call Charlie's associate and then they could put this all behind them and it would be like it never happened! Yes it would!

Business taken care of she opened her eye and went to pull up her shorts, but before she could her eye caught sight of something that made her freeze in place.

She stared at the crotch of her shorts. Her hands were holding the sides of the garment but they had forgotten how to move. Vaggie stared at what was there, the stain that seeped through the light coloured fabric.

Blood.


	5. Love And Logic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revelations happen when Vaggie finds blood in her shorts.

"CHARLIE! _CHARLIE!"_

Charlie woke up with such a start she fell out of bed, her shoulder landing hard on the floor. It throbbed like a bastard but she shot up as fast as she could. Vaggie! Screaming! What?!

"Vaggie! I'm coming!" 

She got to her feet and started to run and nearly fell over her girlfriend as the wild eyed moth came barrelling out of the ensuite, terrified and shaking and holding her shorts in one hand.

"I'm bleeding! Charlie, somethings wrong!"

"W-what?" Charlie looked at the fabric and saw the stains for herself, a small splotch of red at the crotch like at the tail end of a period. Not much, but enough to make her blood run cold "Oh my God!"

"W-we've got to do something!" Vaggies hands were tight around her shoulders and she shook her desperately "We-we need a doctor! Someone who can stop it! Oh my God, Charlie, we can't let it die, I can't, I-"

Charlie wrapped her hands around Vaggies shoulders and pulled her into her body. Vaggie trembled against her and clung to her back, tears soaking into her shoulder. Charlie's mind was racing. Blood! Blood + Pregnancy = BAD NEWS! What did they do, what the hell did they do?!

 _Doctor..._ the word floated into Charlie's mind like a gift and it grounded her, calmed her panic. Vaggie was almost hysterical, she had to calm her down, too! 

"Vaggie, listen to me, I'm gonna call an old friend of my moms, okay? She helped her when she was pregnant with me so she, she'll know what to do! Okay?"

Vaggies head was tucked into her neck "Will she be able to stop it?"

Charlie's chest tightened and the ugly panic she was barely repressing fought tooth and nail to rear its ugly head again. She concentrated on Vaggie, on her smell, her body in her arms, so scared and needing her to stay calm and help her get through this "She...she'll do whatever she can, I promise"

A hand clenched into a fist on her back as she sobbed one more time, took a hard, sniffling inhale, then nodded against Charlie's collarbone. Charlie hugged her tighter and kissed her head.

"Okay, you need to, uh, put on some clothes, as cute as your butt is Naamah won't talk to us if you're half naked!"

Her joke fell flatter than a dead fish, and instead Charlie went to fish out some clothes for Vaggie from the dresser. After passing her her usual attire she went to her bedside table and pulled her phone off of the charger "I'll just give her a call, okay? I'm sure she'll see us, since its an emergency"

"Okay" Vaggie replied, her voice distant, not really concentrating on the conversation. Charlie nodded and went back to her phone to call Naamah. But as she held the rectangular device in her hand a thought occurred to her. A thought Vaggie would violently dispute if she knew.

But...Angel should know, shouldn't he? It was his kid, too. Her thumb hovered over the phone, deliberating.

"Charlie? Do you not have her number?"

"YAH! I-I mean yah! Yah, I, I have it, yah know?" she dipped her hand in a wannabe cool girl way but Vaggie wasn't even paying attention anymore. Charlie went back to her phone and went back to calling Naamah.

Right after she sent a little text.

*

Angels eyes cracked open as he was awakened by his phone going off. He groaned into his pillow and rubbed his face, his head hurt from lack of sleep and the come down was gonna be murder, but he still picked up the phone. This early it could only be fucking Val, and ignoring a summons from him was not an option. He rolled onto his back and squinted at the phones harsh glare, but to his surprise it wasn't Val's name that blazed across the screen:

**_Incoming: Princess Peach_ **

_Ah FUUUUUUUUCK!_ Charlie? Really? Fuck, now he _wished_ it was Val! He was tempted to just delete it. Dumb bitch probably just wanted to know when he was coming back, if he was coming back, blah blah blah. Well, he would come back when he was fuckin' ready to deal with this shit, okay?

He dropped his phone, rolled onto his side and went back to sleep.

*

Vaggie and Charlie sat together on the plush couch of the princess' office. Said princess was talking to her, trying to keep her calm and stop her from worrying, and Vaggie was truly grateful for the effort, but it was futile. She couldn't stop thinking about everything she had done the last four days, anyalysing every move, every choice, trying to pinpoint where she had gone wrong, what she had done to cause this. The stress, it had to be, it was the only thing she could think of. Wasn:t that the main cause of a miscarriage?

 _Miscarriage_. Her stomach twisted hideously. Was she really having a miscarriage? Everything she'd heard about them said that there was supposed to be a shit ton of blood and there had only been a little smear in her shorts, maybe it was just a pre-show before the main event. She squeezed her arms tighter around her midsection, as if that could somehow keep the baby inside her.

_Well, someone's singing a different tune! Didn't you say just yesterday that you wanted the kid OUT of you, Vagatha?_

Vaggie shied away from her mothers voice. _Fuck you, I didn't want it to happen like_ this!

_But it is happening, lovey. At least now you won't have to deal with all those scary mom things, just like you wanted!_

_SHUT-UP! SHUT- **UP!**_

"Vaggie?"

She opened her eye, not realising she has clenched it shut until she felt Charlie's soft palm cover her fist. She made herself relax her hands, and then took Charlie's hand in her own, her racing thoughts calmed by her girlfriends familiar touch. She looked up and met Charlie's soft eyes.

"You're over thinking, aren't you?" she asked, and Vaggie huffed softly and pulled Charlie's hand into her lap.

"I just...I'm just scared, Charlie. I didn't want this to happen. I know I wanted an abortion but I didnt want it to jist die in me, I never meant for it to-!"

"Hey! Hey, hey" Charlie shuffled closer as Vaggies breathing got harsher and wrapped her free hand around both of Vaggies "This is not your fault, baby, you didn't do anything wrong!"

"I wanted it gone. I wanted an abortion and now it might be d-dying inside me" Vaggie bit her lip, but the tears were coming anyway. A distant part of her marvelled at how much she had cried in the past few days, must be the hormones. Charlie squeezed her hands.

"Vaggie, you did nothing wrong, okay? Thoughts can't effect a pregnancy, and, and even if they could, its not like you're letting it happen! You're doing something about it, youre seeing a doctor. Or" she huffed a small laugh "the closest thing we have to one in Hell, at least"

She was trying so hard, and Vaggie wanted to smile, to reassure her, but her guilt was crushing her and making her stomach hurt. She tore her hands out of Charlie's grip and covered her face with them as she shook. Charlie wrapped her arms around her, not speaking, just holding her in her tender embrace. They stayed that way until there was a knock at the door, then Nifftys piping voice calling out.

"Miss Charlie! Miss Vaggie! You have a visitor! They say they've got an appointment"

"That's great, Niffty, thankyou!"

There was a scurrying sound as Niffty left, then the office door was opening, and through it walked a serious moth demon the colour of burnt sienna. She had the agelessness of every Hellborn, but wore the primness of an old matron, her dark hair pulled back in a bun at the base of her neck and wearing a modest black dress that buttoned all down the front. Liquid black eyes regarded Vaggie and Charlie the way a teacher would a new student, and she bent in a small bow.

"Your highness"

Charlie blushed "Oh, thats not necessary. Please just call me Charlie"

The new moths lip twitched like she disapproved, but she didnt say anything "My name is Yara. My mother, the Lady Naamah, sent me, she said it was a matter of urgency"

Vaggies gut tightened. Charlie nodded, then withdrew from Yara to wrap an arm around her loves shoulders "Please, we need your help"

The elegant moth nodded "I see. Let's not waste any time, shall we? How far along are you, Charlie?"

Charlie jerked and her face turned a bright crimson "Oh! Um n-no! Its-its not me! I mean, uh, I'm not the one whose p-pregnant! Its Vaggie! She's eight weeks!" she squeezed Vaggies shoulder and the moth glanced up. Yara blinked.

"...You mean, the sinner?"

Charlie's hold tightened "Vaggie. Yes"

Yara seemed to be struggling with something, most likely how to phrase the thoughts in her head without being offensive "Your Majes-Charlie, you, ah, you are aware that sinners souls are infertile, yes?"

Charlie nodded impatiently "Yes, I'm fully aware that sinners don't get knocked up but somehow Vaggie is! Look, we don't have time for this, she bled this morning and we're both scared as fuck! Can you please just do your job and make sure the baby's okay?!"

Vaggie looked up, surprised. She had never heard Charlie this forceful with a stranger before. Yara looked torn between questioning further and doing as she was told, but as the princess' impatience grew, she apparently decided to indulge her lieges temporary madness. She folded her hands over her stomach, schooled her features into one of matronly seriousness, and turned to Vaggie.

"Very well. So, Vaggie, you are with child. Correct?"

Vaggie nodded, Charlie's arm around her shoulders as she sat back down, warm and comforting around her. She tucked a strand of silver hair behind her ear "Yeah"

Yaras left eyelid twitched "...I see. And you are eight weeks pregnant, is that right?"

Vaggie nodded again.

"And this morning, you found that you were bleeding from the vaginal opening, yes?"

Vaggies fists clenched "Please, can't you just tell me what's wrong? Have I lost it or not?!"

Charlie's hand tightened on her shoulder, but far from being offended Yara's face held patient understanding "I realise these questions may seem pointless, but they are necessary to perform an initial diagnosis. I understand that it is frustrating, but I'm asking you to work with me here, alright?"

Vaggies bottom lip trembled, looking for a moment as if she wanted to argue, but then she nodded "Yeah...okay"

"Good. Now, are you still bleeding?"

Vaggie shook her head. She'd felt nothing since the initial blood that morning "No, I dont think so"

"And any abdominal pain?"

"...No"

"I see. One final thing, Vaggie, if I could touch your stomach, please?"

Vaggie blinked "W-why?"

Yara took off her gloves, revealing dark brown hands with light white freckles on the back "So that I can get a sense of the fetus. It won't do any harm to it, at most all you'll feel is a slight warmth, and I'll be able to tell if the fetus is in any distress" she held out her hands as if in offering, but Vaggie hesitated. Then Charlie squeezed her hand.

"Its okay, honey. Yara was taught by Naamah herself, she's done this a thousand times" she smiled reassuringly and some of the tension went out of the moths shoulders. She nodded back, then stood up and went over to Yara. 

As Vaggie pulled up her shirt and let the older moth touch her belly, Charlie took out her phone and sent another text.

*

Angels eyes cracked open as another round of buzzing woke him up. He swore, picked up his phone, and swore again more colourfully. Another fucking text from Charlie, what the fuck was her _deal?!_ She was like a thirteen year old with Overly Attached Girlfriend syndrome! Fuck it, maybe a Fuck Off text would finally get her to go away, then he could get some SLEEP!

He opened his phone, clicked on his messages, and then all other thoughts went right out the fucking window.

 _Charlie, 9:03:_ **Angel, I know your sister said that you needed time but Vaggies bleeding and I'm pretty sure thats bad! I'm calling someone who can help, if you want to come, come!**

There were four more texts from Charlie but he had pretty much stopped reading after that first one. The bedcovers flew up as he dove out of bed, waking Fat Nuggets who oinked shrilly. He scrabbled out of the door, knocking into it so hard that the wood bounced off of the wall with a hard _SLAM!_

He bolted into the kitchen where Molly and a half asleep Cherri were having lunch/breakfast. They looked up as Angel barreled in.

"Hey Angie, your up earl-HOLY FUCK YOURE NAKED!"

"Woah, ding dong alert!"

Angel didn't have time for this. He shot over to the artfully decorated bowl where Molly kept her keys and other nick-nacks "Molls, where's your car keys?! I gotta get to the hotel!"

Molly was covering her eyes while Cherri took pictures "The hotel? You're going back?!"

"Keys!"

"Okay, okay!" still covering her eyes Molly fumbled for the keys in her pocket and handed them over "Anthony, whats going on?!"

"I don't have the fuckin' time!" Angel swore, charging out of the kitchen and heading for the door.

"ANGIE WAIT YOU'RE NAKED!"

But with a great SLAM Angel was gone. But before anyone could freak out about that he poked his head back in two seconds later "One'a you feed Fat Nuggets while I'm gone!"

" _YOURE STILL NAKED!"_

*

"Spotting?"

"It's very common in early pregnancy, its a result of the fetus attaching itself to the wall of the uterus, you may experience once or twice during the first trimester, but its nothing to fear"

"Its not?" Charlie said, now stroking up and down Vaggies arm "S-so the baby's okay?"

"Completely. Sounds like the little bugger was just eager!" Yara chuckled softly, a bell like sound, her liquid black eyes filled with wonder as she stared at Vaggies flat belly "You really are pregnant...unbelievable..."

Charlie breathed a huge sigh of relief and rested her forehead on Vaggies shoulder "Its okay! You're both okay!"

Vaggie, meanwhile, was staring at Yara "So it...there's nothing wrong? Everything's really fine?"

"Yes. I can hear your child's heartbeat and it is strong and healthy. Really, you have nothing to worry about"

Vaggies eye widened and her hand flew to her stomach "You can hear it?!"

"Did I not just say that?"

Vaggie laughed. It burst from her like a bubble and she clapped her hands over her mouth but it did nothing. She laughed again, and again, until there were tears streaming down her face and her ribs were aching. She felt Charlie squeeze her shoulder and ask if she was okay, but Vaggie was too busy giggling to answer.

"Uh, Vaggie? Is this a good laugh or a bad laugh? The longer it goes on I think its a bad laugh..."

Vaggie laughed and wiped a tear away from her eye. She reached around and squeezed Charlie's hand "I'm alright Charlie, I just...I'm..." she burst into more giggles and stroked her belly. All her fear, her guilt was gone, in its place sweet relief and joy that damn near brought another tear to her eye. She hadn't done anything wrong! Holy shit, that was a first!

"Now, I assume this reaction means you intend to keep the child?"

And just like that she wasn't laughing anymore. Charlies silence turned tense, and Vaggie felt her fingers twitch beneath hers. 

Yara watched them, then folded her hands once again "If not, I can perform a termination today if you wish" she said somberly.

Vaggies heart leapt into her throat. Her hand rubbed her belly and she looked up at Charlie, her eye large and questioning. The princess stroked her free hand over her hair and kissed her forehead.

"Whatever you want, Vaggie. You have my support, always"

Vaggies heart beat harder and she looked down at the ground. She thought about the life inside her, the one she had been intent to get rid of yesterday, but at the first sign of danger she had lost it, engulfed with a terror she had never felt before in her life, not even when she'd died and dropped into Hell. Before, she had been scared of having a baby that she wasn't ready for, but the fear she had felt at the thought of loosing it had kicked that fears ass and served it up on a silver platter. 

And now she was being asked if she wanted a termination, and instinct drove her to wrap her arms around her belly, like she was protecting it. Vaggie took a deep breath and lifted her head. 

"No. I'm not having an abortion, I'm keeping it!""

Tears rolled down her cheek and Charlie let out a whimper. Vaggie turned and the two girls clung to each other in a backbreaking embrace as they both sobbed, Vaggie burying her face in Charlie's neck as the princess kissed her bare shoulder.

"Are you sure? Vaggie, are you really sure?"

Vaggie squeezed her eye shut and nodded, and Charlie cried harder, clinging to her.

All the while Yara stood there, rather feeling like an unwelcome interloper "Wonderful! Now, we should definitely discuss a care plan for the development of the child, yes? Charlie? Vaggie?

They just continued to hold each other, silently crying.

"Ah, I see, um...I'll just wait until you're done, shall I? Oh, and now you're kissing, okay! Alright, uh...excuse me..."

Blushing lightly Yara took out her stylish black Hellphone and tapped out a text message:

 _Yara:_ **There was no misunderstanding, the sinner is the one who is pregnant. She has decided to keep the child.**

Moments later, the phone buzzed.

 _Mother:_ **Excellent.**

 _Yara:_ **Shall I inform Lilith?**

 _Mother:_ **You will do no such thing. Carry out your duties as normal, daughter, and leave the rest to me.**

 _Yara:_ **As you command, Mother.**

Despite her misgivings at her mother's cryptic words, Yara would do as she was told. There was a lot of information to pass along to Charlie and Vaggie, pregnancies in Hell were rare but not uncommon (except amongst sinners. She was still curious to know how _that_ happened!) but two centuries of this work kept her nothing if not professional, and she would carry out her duties as she would with any other Hellborn.

"I-I love you, Vaggie!"

"I *sniff!* I love you too, Charlie!"

Just as soon as they stopped crying...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spotting can be scary as Hell if you don't know what it is. Think of it as the first heart attack before your kids born and starts trying to dive off of a two story balcony (IT HAPPENS!) Next up Angel arrives at the hotel and it is...awkward!


	6. Confronting The Baby Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel arrives at the hotel and Charlie and Vaggie learn some interesting things about the baby.

_Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck FUCKING FUCK!_

Angel drove like a madman, tearing up the streets of Pentegram City and running over many a tiny blue demon as he swore and cursed the slowness of the stupid fucking car! What kind if shitty ass car only went up to 120mph?! Dammit, he would've been on the streets sooner if Molly hadn't tackled him and forced him to put on some clothes! Who fucking cared if he was naked, anyway, Husk was naked all the time and no-one said shit!

Angel growled and honked the horn hard "FUCKIN' MOVE IT YOU DRIVERS ED DROPOUT SLOW ASS MOTHERFUCKERS!" _HOOOOOONK!_

Finally the awkward architecture of the Hazbin Hotel came into his line of sight and Angel almost crashed into the wall as he flew out of the car with the engine still running, in such a hurry that he tripped over his own feet and faceplanted into Niffty's daffodils. He pushed himself up, cursing, and ran into the hotel. Husk was the only one in the lobby, snoring on the bar, and Angel ran over and slammed all four of his hands down.

"HUSK!"

_"MROW!"_

It was like a cartoon how Husk jumped up and his fur puffed to twice his size "What the fuck do you want, dick?!"

"Where's Vaggie?!"

Husk growled "Fuck if I know, anyway why do you c- _urk!"_

Angel grabbed his bow tie in both hands and pulled him forward. He was probably crushing his windpipe but he didn't give a shit " _Where the fuck is she?! Start talkin' kitty cat or I swear ta God-!"_

Husk hissed and the next thing Angel knew he was getting a face full of fist and went crashing to the ground "Fuckin' touch me again, I'll put ya fuckin' lights out!"

Angel snarled and started to get up. His face was sore but he didn't have time for this shit! He needed to find the girls, where the fuck would they be? Think Angel, _think!_ Maybe...maybe their room? Charlie would wanna keep Vaggie safe and calm so they were probably there.

 _What if she's still bleeding up there? Youre probably gonna walk in there and the floors gonna be covered in blood, Vaggies gonna be curled up in a corner and Charlie's gonna spit in your face because_ you weren't there when Vaggie lost your fuckin' baby!

"Ah!" Angel clutched the sides of his head and groaned, squeezing his eyes shut.

"The fuck is wrong with you? Did you take some bad coke again?"

"Shut-up!" Angel roared, with such venom that Husks fur puffed right back up. He flipped the cat off and started towards the large staircase.

*

"One thing you must understand about Hell pregnancies is that there are slight..differences, between those that occur in the living world and those that occur down here"

"Differences?" Vaggie asked. At some point after they stopped crying (and kissing) she and Charlie had moved back to the couch and were holding hands as Yara talked "What kind of differences?"

Yara sat on a chair opposite them, a brown satchel in her lap that she was rummaging through "Well for one thing, it will not have traits of your human self. Since you are a demon it is very likely that the child will share traits with your demonic appearance"

Vaggie blinked, and then raised her free hand "Wait, so you're saying I'm gonna give birth to a moth?!"

"Caterpillar, actually"

_"What?!"_

Charlie squealed and squeezed her hand "A caterpillar?! Oh my God, thats so _cute!"_ she giggled happily and hugged Vaggie hard, blissfully unaware of how pale her face was.

"A caterpillar...there's a...caterpillar...in me...oh my God..."

"Well, half caterpillar" Yara added flippantly "There's always a chance that it could take after the demon you copulated with, too"

"WHAT?!"

Charlie and Yara flinced as Vaggies voice reached ultrasonic pitch. So she was gonna have some kind of caterpillar/spider hybrid baby?! She had a sudden flash of a giant writhing caterpillar with clicking mandibles and eight legs crawling out of her nethers and felt queasy. 

"Vaggie? Honey, are you okay? You look a little pale..."

"...Spiderpillar..."

Yara was still looking through her bag but now paused "So he's a spider, hm? You know, you haven't actually told me much about the father-"

"Thats because it doesn't have one!" Vaggie snapped. Yara blinked, and Charlie smiled nervously.

"We, uh, we don't really talk about him...much..."

"...I see. Well, fortunately for you since this isn't a living world pregnancy I don't need to know much about him, anyway. Now, I have a booklet I want to give you, it'll explain all the changes your body is going to go through over the next seven months. Now, if I could just find it...aha!"

Triumphantly Yara pulled out a thick booklet roughly the length and width of an average notebook. On the light pink cover was a striped black and white moth. Across the cover in pastel blue writing were the words 'Naamahs Diary'

Yara held it out to Vaggie and the moth took it. She arched her eyebrow "A diary?"

"Well, it's really more of a handbook. Naamah wrote it herself, this one explains all the details of a moth pregnancy and what to expect. Development, cravings, mood swings, hunting instincts, gas-"

"Wait, what was that middle one?"

"Just be sure that you read it" Yara tapped the cover with one long brown finger. Now that Vaggie got a closer look she saw that her black fingernails were thin and pointed, like claws. Liquid black eyes flicked between both women "Both of you. There are tips in here that could save your life!"

Vaggie looked down at the book and opened it, leafing through while Charlie exauberently thanked Yara. The diary was filled with diagrams and charts and there was even a page showing what her baby (Spiderpillar) would look like at certain stages of development. Right now it was just a little blob with the barest hint of a head. 

Suddenly she was very aware of her belly. The picture was what was growing in there right now. She had a little blob with a head in her belly. Huh.

_Spiderpillar._

_Oh, shut-up!_

Vaggie was distracted by the sound of Yara snapping her bag shut. She looked up and saw that the older moth was getting to her feet. She closed the book "You're leaving?"

Yara smiled kindly "I have another appointment outside the city that I must attend to, but before I leave I would like make an appointment to see you again at my clinic in four weeks time to check on the baby's physical development, if that is agreeable to you both?"

"Oh yes it i-! I mean, uh, Vaggie, does that sound good to you?" Charlie said. Bless her heart, she was trying so hard to reign in her excitement for this. Vaggie wondered if she should just tell her to let loose and get it out of the way, but she didn't think the hotel would survive the rainbow carnage.

Vaggie nodded "Yeah, that sounds good" she felt a strange little shiver as she spoke. It was finally sinking in, she was seeing Yara again in four weeks, and she was seeing her again because she was keeping the baby. _She_ was having a baby.

_Angels baby._

_Spiderpillar._

_I SWEAR TO GOD!_

She and Charlie rose to their feet and Yara extended a hand. At first Vaggie thought she was going for a handshake, but realised she was holding out a little black card.

"My personal number. In case you have any queries"

"Oh" Vaggie took the card. It was thick, like parchment paper, its script a bright silver across the black "Thanky-"

_CRASH!_

All three women jumped as the office door burst open with the force of an explosion and smashed into the wall. They turned around, and Vaggie stiffened when she saw who was standing, panting, in the doorway. 

"Angel!" gasped Charlie.

There was a stunned silence, broken only by the sound of crunching paper as Vaggie crushed the little card in her hand. The pink spider was breathing hard, like he'd been running. He looked a mess, his usual blazer crooked with missed buttons, his bow tie absent and his hands bare, his hair in disarray like he'd just rolled right out of bed. His heterochomic eyes flicked over all three women before they finally landed on Charlie.

"I got...ya text..." he panted. Anger and betrayal flared up in Vaggie like a roaring fire as she spun towards her girlfriend, who was nervously biting her lip.

"You texted him?!"

Charlie raised her hands "I-I thought he should know!"

"That wasn't your call to make, Charlie, what the hell?!" Vaggie snapped.

"I-I just thought he would wanna know! I mean, i-it is his baby, too!"

Yaras eyes almost popped out of her head "Wait, _Angel Dust_ is the father of your child?!"

"I don't want him here!" Vaggie spat. She pointed at the spider visciously "I want him gone!"

"Hey!" Angel decided to join the conversation and Vaggies eye flashed red as she turned around "I didn't tear up half'a the city and climb, like, a _billion_ fuckin' stairs for ya to kick me out! I came here to see what's happenin' to my fuckin' kid!"

Vaggie snarled "Your kid? Are you fucking serious?! You didn't seem to care much about _your kid_ when you ran out of here like your ass was on fire!"

" _The_ Angel Dust...the porn star...is the father of your child?!"

"Hey, you try havin' a giant fuckin' bomb dropped on ya and see how you feel!"

"I DID! AND I DIDNT JUST RUN AWAY YOU SELFISH LIMP-DICK _COWARD!"_

Angel recoiled, his face growing dark with rage as his chest swelled with what was definitely a vitriolic retort. But Charlie rushed to stand between them before the fight could start.

"WOULD YOU TWO STOP YELLING AT EACHOTHER FOR TWO MINUTES?!" she yelled.

"GET HIM THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!"

"IM NOT GOING ANYWHERE, BITCH!"

"FUCK YOU!"

" _The_ Angel Dust, wow..."

"THIS ISNT GOOD FOR THE BABY!" Charlie screamed. And Angel stilled.

"The...wait so...ya mean it didn't..." he pointed towards Vaggies stomach, his lower hands clasped together "Its still...alive?"

Vaggies eye narrowed and she panted her fists on her hips "Yes. I didn't loose it, and I'm not going to loose it, I'm keeping it!"

Angel went wide eyed "You're what?!"

Vaggies face went scarlet "I'm keeping the baby! Deal with it! Or don't, I don't give a fuck what you do unless it involves you getting the fuck out of here right now!"

Angel didn't move, he just stared at her without blinking. It was Charlie who spoke up, and she rested a hand on her girlfriends shoulder.

"Vaggie, wait a minute! He-he came all the way down here, maybe you should give him a chance-"

Vaggie shrugged her off with a noise of disgust "Don't talk to me! I can't _believe_ you called him without consulting me first! You can both go to Hell!"

And with that she stormed out, barging past a stunned Angel and striding out of the door, steam practically blowing out of her ears. Charlie buried her face in her hands and Angel didn't say anything, still staring blankly into nothingness, God only knowing what was going on in his head right now.

Yara raised a finger "She...does know that we are already in Hell, right?"

Charlie groaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spiderpillar, he he! Comment, kudos, next one will be out sometime next week :3


	7. What To Expect When You're Expecting (And Your Baby Mama Hates Your Guts)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plot moves along. A bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fuck. This. Chapter. I'm sorry its late, not my fault, the stupid chapter wouldn't cooperate and I'm still not happy with it.

"Fuckin' pissy bipolar spider jackass mother..." Husk grumbled as he finished wiping his drool off of the counter. He dropped the rag somewhere and picked up his bottle of cheap booze and shook it. Empty. Fuck.

He'd turned around and grabbed a bottle of bottom shelf swill when there was another great CRASH from within the hotel. Husk jumped so hard he nearly dropped the liquor and his hands scrabbled madly to catch it, holding it like it was the Holy Grail as he rose. What the fuck-?

Vaggie came storming into the lobby, her face like thunder and her footsteps just as loud. She was muttering furiously in Spanish and didn't seem to even see him with a bottle of booze in his hands, making straight for the large staircase. She was walking so fast she nearly bulldozed straight into Alastor, who jumped smoothly to the side.

"Be careful to watch your footing, my dear! Accidents can happen all to easily!"

Vaggie growled at him with all the fury of a seasoned Wrath demon " _¡Fuera de mi camino, señor de mierda!"_

She stormed past him and later they heard a door slamming hard enough to crack the hotel foundations. Alastor raised an eyebrow and Husk shrugged. The Radio Demon sat down and the cat passed him a glass of Bourbon.

"So Husker, how goes the day?"

Husk opened his bottle and swigged "Fuck if I know, everyone's actin' crazy. Angel came in here a minute ago actin' pretty nuts"

Alastor hummed "Ineberated again?"

"Don't think so. Looked pretty sober before I punched his lights out"

Alastor choked on his drink and laughed merrily "Well thats hardly fitting behaviour for an employee of the Hazbin Hotel!"

"He grabbed me"

"Fair enough! Anything else?"

"Other than Vaggie actin' like Attila the Hun on the rag? No. Angel was yellin' about her so I guess he pissed her off"

Alastor circled his drink in thought "Hmm...well, thats not very interesting at all. Tell me about you, my friend! Any interesting dreams whilst you were taking an ill advised nap in the counter?"

"Hey, you got no proof of that!"

"For shame, my good man! What if another Hellsprite had made off with the silver?"

_"That was one fuckin' time!"_

*

Vaggie slammed the bedroom door shut, picked up a pillow and screamed into it for a solid ten minutes. Once she was done she threw the pillow back onto the bed, slid down the door and curled her knees up to her face. She wrapped her arms around them and rested her forehead against her knees, breathing hard. 

She was so angry she could spit _nails!_ She couldn't believe Charlie had just blind sighted her like that! She thought that she was on Vaggies side, she thought she understood! Of all people, Charlie should've been the one to know how she would feel about Angel storming into the place like he had any right to be there!

Angel...just the thought of his fucking name made her want to scream! 'My Kid' he'd said, fuck that! As long as she was breathing she wasn't going to let that cocky, arrogant, perverted selfish asshole anywhere near her baby, it didn't need him, _she_ didn't need him, she had Charlie! (even though she was mad at her right now. Whatever)

Vaggie breathed out deeply, wrapping her hands around her knees, and she leaned her head back to touch the door. She may not have had a long life (Dying at 22. Thanks God) but she had been around long enough to know that fathers weren't all that. Her own, whoever he was, had been a sick rapist who ruined her Moms life and shattered her spirit, and her Moms dad? 

Well. Vaggie didn't like to think about him. Her _abuela_ had told her about him when she was old enough to take it, and Vaggie still felt tremors of rage when she remembered the look on her old face as she told the story.

Her stomach suddenly throbbed, and she immediately lowered her legs and took another deep breath, stroking her belly until the throbbing stopped. She kept her hand there, and looked down at the space where her child grew. 

"You're not going to end up like my Mom." she said softly "And you're not going to end up like me, okay? I'll make sure of it. I'm not gonna let anybody fuck you up like that. I promise"

*

Angel was still frozen. Charlie approached him cautiously, like a particularly flighty deer she didnt want to spook.

"Angel? Are you...okay?" 

Angel said nothing.

"Angel, can you hear me?"

Not even a twitch.

"Just blink if you're in there!"

Nothing. Charlie snapped her fingers in front of his face. Nada. Just as she was about to freak out, Yara poked her head in with a thoughtful hum.

"Never seen a case go on for _this_ long before"

Charlie turned to her "Case? A case of what?"

"I believe the Urban Dictionary describes it as 'Dad Shock'" Yara poked Angel hard in the forehead. When he didn't even blink she let out another thoughtful hum "Yes, this is a very advanced case..."

Charlie threw up her hands "Well, how long is he going to stay this way? What am I supposed to do, keep him as a coat rack?!"

Yara shrugged "It is difficult to say, but I've found that the ones who remain frozen for this long are very simple minded"

"HEY! Who ya callin' simple minded?" Angel snapped, and Charlie couldve fainted with relief. Yara smiled.

"There we go! Now, I'd love to stay and chat but I'm afraid I really must be going." she folded her bag strap over her shoulder and pressed her palms together "Charlie, _good luck!"_

Charlie whimpered as the moth demon walked out, the door shutting behind her with a soft click. Leaving her alone. With Angel.

Greaaaat...

"Who the fuck was that bitch?"

She turned around to see him glaring at the doorway. She jerked a thumb at the closed door "That, uh, that was Yara. She-shes a midwife. One of Naamahs daughters"

Angel blinked "Naamah? _The_ Naamah? The succubus?"

"Yeah. She's also the midwife that delivered me, I, uh, I called her when...y'know..."

Angel frowned before realising what she meant. His expression became uncomfortable and he scratched the back of his head "Oh. Yeah, right..."

"Yeah"

Charlie acted quickly before an uncomfortable silence could descend, "Angel-"

"I...I gotta go. I borrowed Molly's car, so-"

"Angel-!"

He didn't even pause, leaving the office just as swiftly as he came into it. Charlie started to go after him, but when she got into the hall it was already empty. She swore and slumped against the door, the events of the last ten minutes raging around her head like a trainwreck clipshow.

Dammit, this was all such a mess! What the hell was she going to do, now?

*

Angel drove, oblivious to the cars careening out of his way and the pedestrians crunching under his wheels. He was thinking, thinking harder than he had ever thought in his life, his knuckles white on the steering wheel.

He hadn't expected this. He'd really thought that Vaggie would get rid of the baby and that would be it. If he'd had a thousand tries he never would've called her actually keeping the thing!

But she was. The baby was here to stay. And in a few months there was gonna be a little kid running around.

...His kid.

Many a street sign, car and demon got crushed by Mollys car that afternoon, the spider thinking over what even he knew would be the biggest decision of his life.

By the time he pulled up outside Mollys decrepit apartment building, he'd made it.

*

_Click!_

Molly choked on her French toast and coughed crumbs everywhere "He's back!" 

Quickly she stood up from the table, Cherri following "Hey! How did it...go..." the female spider trailed off when she caught the stony look on her brothers face. Her mood sank like a stone, and she clasped her hands "Oh God, Angie..."

"She's fine" he said, breaking the stony visage "She's...keepin' it"

Molly gasped. She and Cherri were struck dumb.

For about five seconds.

"Ho-ly shit!"

"Oh my God, Angie, really?!"

"Ho. Ly. Shit!"

"So-so what does this mean? Are you gonna be a daddy? How is it gonna work? Are ya gonna move back into the hotel? Is Vaggie still mad?"

"Holy fuckin' _shit!"_

"Angel! Angel? Where ya goin'?!" Molly cried as her brothers hands made a path between the gawking demons that he walked through.

"To my room, I gotta pack my shit!"

Molly and Cherri's eyes damn near popped out of their heads **"WHAT?!"**

"You heard me!" Angel called from inside his borrowed room, and walked out a second later with Fat Nuggets in his carrier and a bulging fuzzy pink suitcase. His two free hands were on his hips, and there was a steel in his eyes that neither girl had seen there for a very, very long time.

"I'm goin' back, bitches!"

*

Finally, after a long time to let her cool down, Charlie went up to her and Vaggies room to talk to the pregnant moth. After a brief knock she went inside.

The room was dark, a solitary lamp lit in Vaggies hands, the moth staring at it's warm yellow glow on the bed.

"Vaggie? Hey...are you still mad?"

Vaggies eye twitched and she didnt reapond. Yeah, she was still mad. Charlie summoned up her nerve and walked over to the bed.

" _Mi amore_...I'm sorry I texted Angel. You're right, I shouldnt have done that without asking you first"

"So why did you?" Vaggie snapped, still looking at the light. Charlie sighed.

"Because I thought he would want to know. I thought he should know, since he is the father-"

"Not while I'm still breathing, he's not!" Vaggie spat venomously. Charlie's eyes widened.

"W-why not?"

"Really? Do you need me to write you a goddamn list?" she didnt wait for an answer "He's a hooker, he does drugs, he has no sense of responsibility, he ran out of here the second he found out I was pregnant, and besides, he's a _man!"_

Charlie stared, shocked "What do you mean? Why does _that_ matter?"

Finally Vaggie looked away from the lamp "Trust me, Charlie, men don't give a fuck about their kids. The _cabron_ that impregnated my mother turned her into a pill popping alcoholic, my grandfather was a fucking evil son of a bitch and everyone I have ever met has either grown up without a father, or one who treats them like shit." she rubbed a hand over her belly, the gesture far more gentle than her viscious words "I'm not going to let that happen to mine. I won't. It'll be fine with just you and me"

 _You and me_. To her shame Charlie felt a warm glow fill her heart at those words, but her mind refused to let her forget about Angel. The look on his face as he walked out haunted her, because it wasn't the look of a man relieved, he just looked...well, it was like his face had turned to stone, but it wasn't happy or indifferent! Surely that had to mean something!

So once again Charlie nerved herself up, and prepared to get her head bitten off.

"Vaggie, sweetheart, I-I know you've had some bad experiences, but I...I don't think Angels like that"

Vaggies eye narrowed dangerously "How the fuck would you know?"

"Because when he left he wasn't happy, Vaggie! I think...I-I really think he wants to be part of this"

"Bullshit. If thats true then where is he? Why isn't he here, trying to convince me to let him see his kid?"

_CRASH!_

_"HEY,"_ they both jumped when Husk, screeched in the lobby _"YOU CANT JUST GO KICKIN' THE FUCKIN' DOORS IN, ASSWIPE! IM THE ONE WHOSE GOTTA FIX THEM!"_

Charlie groaned. Oh shit, what now?!

"You'd better go and see about that" Vaggie mumbled, once again looking at her lamp, and as much as Charlie didnt want to she had to agree. Husk still kept a shotgun by the bar and was known to be a little trigger happy when irked.

"I'll be right back, okay?" Vaggie didnt respond and she headed downstairs, hurrying down the large staircase so fast that by the time she registered the new arrival, she was already on the lobby floor.

"Hiya toots, what's shakin'?" Angel smiled broadly, waving with his one free hand that wasnt carrying a suitcase or a pet pig.

Charlie, of course, reacted with total maturity and poise. Her jaw hit the floor and she gesticulated wildly at him while making noises that were not quite words.

"Wha-? Ange-! You-! You're-! WHAT?!"

Angel chuckled "Well, nice to see ya again too, Princess. Thought I'd come and see if my old room is still available. I mean, my sisters pad is nice, but it aint no hotel room with room service and sexy bartenders" 

"Please go back to your sisters" Husk grumbled. Angel blew him a kiss.

Charlie, meanwhile, was still in a state of shock "whu...but...you...left..."

For a second, Angels smirk wavered. Then it snapped back into place like a tape measure "Yeah. And now I'm back! Listen I'll be in my room if anybody needs me" he shook the room keys that had miraculously appeared in his hand and pulled his luggage towards the elevator "Ciao!"

Charlie stared into space, her mind reeling and at the same time feeling full of cotton wool "What...just happened?"

Husk growled, drinking deeply of his latest bottle of booze. "I just remembered I gotta get more shotgun shells, thats what fuckin' happened!" 

*

Angel kept up the act until he reached his bedroom. He unlocked the door, dropped his luggage by his bed (none of his shit had been touched. Good to know) and let Fat Nuggets out of his carrier.

Then he broke. His top hands twisted into his hair and his bottom ones slapped onto his thighs as he began to hyperventilate.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck, shit fuck FUCK! Angel, what the fuck are ya doin'? Ya crazy mother fucker what the fuck are ya doin' here this is crazy, you're fuckin' CRAZY!_

His legs went out from under him and he leaned his back against his bed, running his fingers through his hair as his bottom hands clenched together so tight he almost broke a finger. After some time, Fat Nuggets came up and nuzzled his ankle, emitting a worried 'Oink'

Angel breathed out, long and slow, and after a moment he let go of his hair and petted his pig.

"Its okay, Nuggs, Daddy's okay, he just did a pretty crazy thing today..."

Crazy? That was a fucking understatement! Becoming a hooker after he got kicked out of the house? _That_ was crazy. Accepting a deal with Valentino, _that_ was crazy! This...this was a whole other level of nuts!

But he hadn't been able to stop himself. That text from Charlie had scared him more than a thousand Valentino's and the news that Vaggie was keeping the kid had rocked his whole damn world. And not in the fun way!

But still, the thought of his kid growing up without even knowing who he was...despite everything he knew he was, and knowing the kid would probably be better off never hearing his name, he still wanted to know _them_.

And who knew? Maybe he could change. Maybe he could quit the hardcore drugs and the drinking and the partying, be something more than a deadweight crossdresser to this kid. That was what the princess had promised him, right? And if putting up with Vaggies crazy ass was the only way to do that, then he guessed he was willing to do it!

Besides, he was still a patient of the Hazbin Hotel, what was the worst she could do?

*

_Meanwhile, in Charlie and Vaggies room:_

**_"HIJO DE PERRAAAAAAAAAAA!"_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters are going to be a bit sporadic from here on in because life.


	8. You Kids Are Driving Me Crazy!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angel and Vaggie are their delightful selves and Charlie snaps.

Something weird was going on, Niffty could feel it. 

Ever since Angel had returned a week ago, there was just this...tension around the hotel. If at all possible Vaggie was madder than usual and was stress eating enough cheese and crackers to kill a diabetic! She needed to watch out for that, she was already starting to get a little belly on her.

Charlie was acting weird, too, she seemed to be always lost in her own thoughts and would jump when someone talked to her, and her cheery attitude more forced and squeaky, like a chipmunk on energy drinks and she had become such a scatterbrian! Paperwork was filed late or not at all, she had even forgotten about her therapy appointment with Baxter that morning! (Not that the fish minded, rumor had it that he had spent the time stealing back the Dragon Fyre Charlie had confiscated when he moved in)

And then there was Angel Dust...well, actually she actually hadn't seen him much, he seemed to be finding more and more reasons to leave the hotel, and when he was here he was snappy and rude, and there were bags under his eyes that even the thickest makeup couldn't conceal, like he hadn't been sleeping.

Something was definately up in here. Niffty had a nose for when something was iffy and this reeked of iffy!

She dusted the spiderwebs that clung to Angels doorway and paused when she heard another Italian swear word. Frowning, she wondered if she should go inside, he'd been cursing in there for the last ten minutes. But...the doorway was really, really dusty...

She shrugged and carried on with her work. If there was a problem in there then that was for Charlie to handle, she was just the maid!

*

"Come on ya fuckin' pussy, do it!"

Angels arm trembled above the toilet bowl, refusing to move. In it was an open baggie of white powder that had cost him a burning asshole and the taste of rancid WakDonalds in his mouth for a week. This shit was from Vals own supply, the really good stuff, the one he brought out for special occasions, and now he was about to flush it down the toilet.

Or, trying to, but his damn arm wouldn't move! He shifted on his feet, concentrated, and started to tip the bag.

_Are you crazy, this is the best shit on the street!_

_You'll never get anymore from him if ya do it!_

_What if ya need it, huh? What if Val makes ya do another rosebud, ya really wanna be sober for that?_

"FUCK!" he snatched his hand back with the baggie still full. Every fucking time! 

Admitting defeat the spider resealed the bag and went back to his bedroom where he shoved it underneath his mattress. He could always use it to wean himself off the shit when the cravings got too much, that wasn't bad, was it? 

Still, his hands shook as he returned the mattress to its previous position. He hadn't had much of the harder shit in days but the withdrawals were still hanging around, he had the shakes of a stage 3 Parkinson's patient and the temperment of a rabid Hellhound on the rag, just that morning he'd nearly shot Niffty for coming into his room at 9:30 in the morning (he'd JUST gotten to sleep!) but all things considered she was pretty cool about it.

Unlike _someone!_

Angel thought back to the previous morning with a scowl. He'd been in the kitchen trying to force some toast down without throwing up when his beloved baby mama walked in. Their eyes locked, neither saying a word until Vaggie scowled and made a beeline for the coffee maker.

Angel nibbled at his toast, wondering if he should say something to her. The bitch was having his fucking kid, they were gonna have to talk to each other at some point, right? But Vaggie was such a pissy little broad and, after an argument about Angel using all the hotels hot water that had somehow ended up nearly decimating the entire building, she was more pissed at him than ever, deliberately avoiding him for days so he couldn't talk to her even if he wanted to.

But he supposed he should still make the effort, ask how she was feeling or some bullshit. The spider turned in his chair and opened his mouth, but just then Vaggie turned around and he saw the steaming mug of coffee in her hands. Then he fucked up.

"Should you be drinkin' that?"

Vaggies eye glowed like the fires of hell themselves and she nearly broke her mug "What?"

"I'm just sayin' I thought caffeine was bad for babies, are you sure you should be drinkin' coffee?"

He barely had time to duck before the hot coffee cup was launched at his face "GO FUCK YOURSELF!"

"Jesus _Christ! Are ya fuckin' crazy?!"_

_"Do not tell me what to do, cabron!"_

" _SCREW YOU, YOU CRAZY CONTROL FREAK!"_

The shouting match that followed only ended when Charlie came to physically drag her psycho girlfriend away, still yelling like a car alarm. In the days since both had done their level best to avoid crossing paths.

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

A vibrating on his dressing table pulled Angel out of his angsty thoughts, he went over to the table and picked up his phone. 

_Val: Here. Now._

_Fuck._

His movie star mirrors reflected his grimance. Today was supposed to be his day off, Goddammit, couldn't Val just give him one fucking day? He tapped out a quick reply.

_Angel: Yes Daddy, on my way_

_Val: Good. Dress nice x_

Angel cringed, but nevertheless changed out of his comfy nightshirt and shorts and into a tight black corset and matching mini-skirt. For a moment he looked longingly at the mattress where his good shit was stashed. Nights with Val tended to be rough, not something a guy wanted to be sober for.

But...no. No! He was trying to be good, wasn't he? Prove that he could do this whole sober parenting thing and he wasn't gonna fuck it up so fast! He could totally do this sober! Totally!

He grabbed a stylish fluffy coat, petted Fat Nuggets and left before the siren call of his vice became too strong to ignore.

*

Charlie locked the cabinet door and brushed her hands through her hair. It had taken her most of the day to find where Baxter had hidden the Dragon Fyre and longer still to find her way out of his maze of a laboratory. The fish had not helped her at all, apparently exacting some petty revenge for taking back a dangerous firearm.

Still, at least said weapon was out of dangerous hands now. Charlie placed her hand against the cabinet door and a warm, golden glow grew over the wood, engulfing it for a moment before being absorbed by the structure. 

Charlie groaned and leaned against the cabinet, she felt lightheaded. A simple containment spell shouldn't have taxed her so but over the past week between seeing to the patients, running the hotel and...Angel and Vaggie she hadn't been getting much sleep.

She closed her eyes for a moment and almost forgot how to open them again. Maybe after work she could try for an early night.

_"Oh I'm SO FUCKIN' SORRY! I forgot you were now the clothes police on top of bein' a huge pain in my fluffy pink ass!"_

Oh Goddammit...

Charlie rushed out of the cluttered attic and practically flew down the many flights of stairs (really, she was faster than any elevator) and made it to the lobby in time to hear Vaggie call Angel a Crack Addicted Cum Whore in Spanish.

"Why dontcha show some balls and speak fuckin' English, ya coward?! Least when I insult people I know its fuckin' landed!"

"Oh, you want English?! How's this: _you're a coke addicted anarchist with the worst Daddy complex I have ever seen!"_

 _"Me?!_ I ain't the one biting the heads off every guy I see just cuz Daddys hands got a little too friendly!"

"No? Is that not a popular request, or do you just do it for free for anyone who asks?"

"Why I oughta-!" 

"Oh do it! Come on, I dare you!"

Vaggie leapt down from the counter and spread her arms, fire in her eyes as she advanced on Angel. That finally caused Charlie to move and she rushed forward to intercept her.

"Vaggie stop, what the hell are you doing?!" she caught Vaggies arms and grabbed them, then turned towards Angel, who was dressed like an extra from Rocky Horror and had his own hands up "What is going on now?! Can't you two go for five minutes without fighting?!"

Vaggie snarled "He started it!"

"I did not, you did! Lookin' at me all funny like I'm some cheap escort!"

"For Gods sake, you _are_ a cheap escort!"

"Excuse _you_ , I am fuckin' _expensive,_ taco snatch!"

A look. That's what they were fighting about, a goddamn _look?!_ It was the stupidest reason yet, and Charlie's frazzled brain couldn't take it.

"Oh my God, are you both _fucking serious?! Grow the hell up!"_

In the stunned silence that followed Charlie pushed Vaggie away from her (gently, she was a lady with a baby) and stood between them both with her hands on her hips.

"All week you two have been fighting over the stupidest freaking reasons! Coffee, hot water usage and now a look?! Not every little thing needs to be a confrontation, God _dammit!"_

Vaggie snorted "Yeah, Angel!"

" _You!"_ Charlie rounded on her like a wolf on prey "I cannot believe you were about to provoke physical confrontation in your condition! What were you thinking?!"

Vaggie looked as if she was about to argue, but Charlie's intense glare stopped that dead in its tracks. Angel scoffed smugly. 

"Yeah, _Vaggie!"_

"Oh, don't even get me started on you! You said you came back to be a part of this but all you've done is either avoid Vaggie or fight with her all goddamn week!" Charlie's voice ascended into a shrill shriek, she was loosing control. She took a moment to press her hands over her face, breathing until she calmed herself down. Then she pointed a stern finger at the bickering pair, her hands shaking.

"Both of you...need to figure this out! Because like it or not, we are all in this together, and I do not want this baby to be raised in a place where their parents are constantly trying to tear each other a new one! _GOD!"_

She dropped her hands, seared both of them with her most formidable red eyed glare, then turned on her heel and left with anger still buzzing in her veins. Let them figure this one out themselves, she would be upstairs taking a long hot bubble bath!

*

After Charlie stormed out, Vaggie and Angel looked at each other. Rather than diving down each others throats again, they both shifted uncomfortably. They were both still mad, but the original burning fire had been sucked out by Charlie's yelling. Angel straightened his corset and Vaggie crossed her arms over her chest.

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

Much to their relief Angels phone broke the silence. The spider dragged a hand through his hair and let out a breath "I gotta go. If it please your highness!"

With a sarcastic bow Angel left, and Vaggie looked up at the staircase. There were scorch maks in the shape of Charlies shoes in the carpet.

"Shit..." Vaggie sighed, scrubbed a hand through her hair then followed their trail.

And that was the moment Husk emerged from behind the bar, an empty bottle in his hand and his yellow eyes wide.

_"Baby?!"_

*

Charlie was in the tub when Vaggie entered the room. Wordlessly the moth undressed for bed and got in between the plush sheets. She was tired, but was still rattled after the confrontation downstairs so she messed around on her phone for a while, trying to ignore the simultaneous feelings of annoyance and guilt curling in her belly. It wasn't like she meant to get into fights with Angel, they just tended to happen, the spider was so fucking annoying! But until today she hadn't realised how much of a toll it was taking on Charlie, she couldn't remember the last time she had snapped at her like that. 

It wasn't like she hadnt deserved it, though, God had she really tried to provoke a fistfight just now? She rubbed a hand over her belly, where the little spiderpiller assumed it was safe.

_Sorry..._

Eventually Charlie came into the room, wrapped in a towel and her wet hair cascading down her back. When she saw Vaggie she didn't say anything but dressed for bed, climbing in beside her in total silence and curling up on her side, away from her.

Vaggie sighed. She dropped her phone on the bedside table and switched off the lamp, engulfing the room in darkness. She could hear Charlie's quiet breaths in the dark, slow but not yet asleep. She hesitated, considering, then shuffled closer to her girlfriend until she was pressed against her back, laying her head on her shoulder and when Charlie didn't do anything but tense she wrapped an arm around her waist.

"...I'm sorry" she whispered. It was easier to say in the dark "You're right, I wasn't thinking. I acted like an idiot and I could've put the baby in danger. I'm so sorry, hun" she kissed her shoulder gently, stroking a thumb across Charlie's belly. She felt the princess' stomach swell as she drew in a breath.

"I just wish you and Angel could get along better, Vaggie. I know you guys don't like each other, but...couldn't you at least try to get along? For the baby's sake?"

Vaggie pressed her face into Charlie's neck "Its not that simple, Charlie..."

"Because you don't trust him"

It wasnt a question. She shook her head. Charlie's hand came up to cover hers.

"I know how hard this must be for you, I know what you've been through, but I really don't think Angels like those other guys you knew. I think he can be trusted"

"Charlie, why are you so sure about him? Seriously, you know what Angel is as much as I do, why do you believe in him so much?"

"...Because I know he has a good heart. I can tell."

She could tell? That was her argument? She didn't say anything but Charlie seemed to pick up on what she was thinking.

"I know it sounds dumb, but its like...I don't know, a feeling! In my gut! Maybe if you gave him a chance, you could see it too?"

Charlie twisted around to face her and the light of those large adorable eyes fell on her face, pleading. She wanted to argue, to shake her head and tell her in no uncertain terms that that was Not Going To Happen, but...she hated what this was doing to Charlie, and Vaggie knew she was the cause and she didn't want to make it worse.

Dammit! "I'll...try"

Charlie breathed out kissed Vaggies neck "Thankyou!"

She twisted around so that Vaggie was spooning her, and soon enough fell into an easy sleep. Vaggie, for once, was the one to lay awake, one hand on her belly as she stared up at the black ceiling and considered her next move.

*

The sky had lightened to a deep wine red by the time Angel finally stumbled back into the hotel. His leg was throbbing from a deep bite wound on his thigh, his sides felt like someone had skewered them with katanas, and his asshole felt like it had been replaced by a mother fucking fireball.

He should count himself lucky. Val had gone easy on him tonight. 

The second he got to his room he flopped facedown on the bed. His leg roared in protest but he didn't care, all he wanted was some sleep and forget the whole crappy evening. The call of the drugs underneath his mattress was stronger than ever but he forced himself to resist it, clutching a pillow and preasing it against his face until, after several torturous hours, he was given the sweet respite from consciousness.

_"What the fuck is wrong with you?!"_

_SLAP!_

_"Whoring is the one thing you're good at, Angelcakes, and now you ain't even doin' that right!"_

_KICK!_

_"D-daddy, please! I'm sorry! Next time I'll do better, I swear to God!"_

_"How many mother fucking times have I heard that this week? You think I'm an idiot, Angel? Do I look fucking stupid to you?!"_

_"N-no! Val, please, I-"_

_"I think Daddy needs to remind you what happens to bad whores who waste my money!"_

_"VAL NO!"_

Angel awoke with a gasp. His body trembled and his fur was soaked with sweat. The light from outside was now the bright red of dawn and he groaned as he sat up, gaining a throb from his leg for his efforts. He grimanced, rubbing his head. Fuck, that had been a bad one...

_Knock knock knock!_

He jumped at the knock, the last vestiges of his nightmare still clinging to his mind. Shaking his head he stood up, hissing as his leg protested but walking towards the door nonetheless. Who the fuck was bothering him at this godforsaken hour, anyway? It better not be Charlie coming to chew him out again, he was in no mood!

But when he opened the door, it revealed the one sinner he wanted to see even less.

Vaggie fixed him with a stern glare and her arms crossed beneath her chest "We need to talk"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vaggie and Angel have a chat in the next chapter, I would've included it in this one but I felt like you guys waited long enough for an update. Please comment!


	9. Let's Stay Calm. I SAID CALM!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vaggie and Angel have a chat and learn that they have some things in common.

Angel stared at the moth long enough for her to grow uncomfortable "Are you going to let me in or what?"

Angel raised an eyebrow and cocked a hand on his hip "Depends. Are ya here to kill me?"

Vaggie scowled "No"

"Hit me?"

"No! I'm-"

"Bite me?"

"For Gods sake will you just let me in so I can talk to you?!"

"...Alright. Forgive the mess but I don't give a shit what ya think"

Vaggie gave him the stink eye as she walked inside his room and Angel closed the door behind her. Despite his 'apology' the room wasn't that much of a mess (no doubt due to Nifftys influence and liberal use of bleach), the dresser was a mess of make-up, hair brushes and a headstand where a meticulously cared for curly blonde wig resided. The floor was covered with tall expensive boots and tiny expensive clothes and the bed was in disarray from where Angel had just gotten up. There was a plush pink loveseat that only had a few porno magazines on it, and Vaggie pushed them onto the floor and sat herself down.

"This isn't working out"

Angel, seated on his bed facing her, scoffed "Ya breakin' up with me?"

"Could you at least try to be serious for a minute?!"

"I'll try, but I ain't makin' any promises, toots!"

_Dont kill him don't kill him don't kill him..._

Vaggie took a deep breath in, then let it out "Okay, whatever. Look, we both know that we can't carry on like we have the past few days, not unless we _want_ Charlie's head to explode!"

Angel tapped a finger against his lips "Well, it _does_ sound funny as Hell-"

"Angel!"

"Alright, alright!" Angel threw his hands up, smirking a little "Okay. So what do ya wanna do? Gonna stop yellin' at me just because I got a dick?"

 _Dont murder him...Do NOT murder him!_ "I don't yell at you because you have a dick, I yell at you because you're a pain in the ass!"

"Oh, so its all _my_ fault?"

"You-!" Vaggie barely stopped herself from screaming. She ran her hands through her hair and almost took a chunk out "Dammit, why do you have to be so damn difficult?!"

"Thats just the way I am, Vags, either get on board or get the hell out! It ain't my fault that your baby daddy's a hooker!"

"No, it's _your_ fault that youre a hooker!"

"Ooooh, brilliant observation! Anymore brainwaves? The sky is red? The birds are cannibalistic?!" Angel stood and punched a fist to his chest "I know exactly what I am, baby! And thats whats got ya panties in a twist, ain't it? That your baby daddy ain't some billionaire overlord or whatever that can take care of ya for life!"

"I would rather a fucking homeless person be my child's father than a someone who willingly acts as Hells personal fleshlight!"

Angels eyes burned red and he came towards her, fist raised. Vaggie reacted instantly, materialising her spear and aiming it just as he-

Dropped his fist and walked away. He swore vitrolically, marching over to the other side of the room and pressed his hands against the wall, breathing harshly. Vaggie watched him, her spear still raised and adrenaline buzzing through her. For a long time the two of them stayed that way, panting and angry.

_"Oink!"_

Vaggie jumped, clutching her spear, but it was only Fat Nuggets. The pig toddled out from underneath Angels bed and went to his master, oinking again as he nudged at Angels leg. The spider seemed to physically deflate as he loosed a breath, then he bent down and pick him up, cooing softly in Italian. When he eventually turned around there was a lit cigarette in his mouth and he glared at Vaggie.

"Fuck you for sayin' that, you don't have a clue what you're talkin' about. And put that away, I ain't havin' ya put a fuckin' hole in my wall!"

Vaggies eyes narrowed but she didn't let go of the spear. Angel rolled his eyes and sat back down on his bed, blowing out smoke and absently petting Fat Nuggets "Jesus, ya really think I'm gonna jump on ya? Forget it, my Ma raised me to never hit a woman, even annoyin' little bitches like you"

Vaggie scoffed, but she let the spear drop to her side "I find it hard to believe you even had a mother..."

Angel took a deep drag and blew it out "Oh yeah, I had a mother, a good one, too. Tell ya what, though, she woulda ripped my ear off for knockin' up a girl outta wedlock" he sniggered. His smoke began to curl around Vaggie and she waved it away with one hand. Angel saw this and jumped up "Shit, the hell am I thinkin'?"

He cracked open a window and fanned the smoke towards it, a lower hand grinding the half smoked cigarette into an ashtray. When he turned back Vaggie was looking at him curiously. 

"What did you come back for, Angel?"

The spider sat back down and pulled Nuggets into his lap "I already told ya, ya think I'm lyin'?"

"Are you surprised? I told you I was pregnant and you ran out of here like your ass was on fire, do you really expect me to believe that you suddenly turned a total 180 and now want to stay and raise the kid with me and Charlie?"

"I don't expect ya to believe it, but thats the truth" Angel replied, stonefaced.

"Why?"

"Because I want my kid ta know who I am!" Angel snapped "I wanna be around ta, ya know...teach 'im stuff! Watch 'im grow up! The whole nine yards!"

Vaggie stared at him, looking for the lie. She still didn't trust him, not by a long shot. Sure, he was saying this now, but what would happen in the long run? What would he do when their situation got all to real?

But Charlie had asked her to try, so as much as she wanted to say all of this to him, she didn't. She uncrossed her arms and gripped the soft couch cushions "Then we need to stop fighting. Charlie's right, we can't raise this baby if we're constantly arguing"

"Eh, worked for my parents!"

"And look how great you turned out!" Vaggie said sweetly.

"Eat me!" Angel replied, just as sweetly.

Vaggie rolled her eyes "Look-"

"What were yours like?"

The moth blinked "Huh?"

Angel rubbed his fingers together, like they were mourning the loss of the cigarette "Your parents. What were they like? Just so I know how much crazy this kids gonna inherit"

Vaggie stiffened, her mind immediately going to the dark history of her lineage, especially her grandfather. She wqs about to tell him to go to hell, but paused as a thought occurred to her.

Should she tell him? It would be the perfect way to test his resolve. She didn't have to tell him _everything,_ she didn't need the whole of Hell knowing before dawn, but she could tell him some of it...just to see.

She narrowed her eyes at him. _Okay, Angel Dust, let's see if you've got any steel amongst all that fluffy perfumed bullshit._

*

"My mom is a drunk drug addict." said Vaggie, and Angel blinked. He'd expected to be cussed out but holy shit, she was actually telling him? She looked him dead in the eye as she spoke, absent mindedly twirling a strand of hair around her finger. She spoke completely without tone, like she was talking about something as mundane as the weather rather than a traumatic childhood.

"I spent most of my childhood making sure she didn't choke on her own vomit and calling the ambulance when she ovedosed. I have no idea who my dad is, for all I know he's down here with me, but the one thing I do know is that he met my mom when she was on her way back from the night shift at the bar where she worked."

"Romantic" Angel drawled.

"Not really. She was taking a shortcut through an alley when he grabbed her and covered her mouth so she couldn't scream"

Angels eyes widened. Holy fucking shit Vaggie was a rape baby?! _Okay, some of your crazys startin' to make sense now..._

"They never caught him. Mom said it was the worst time of her life, at least until she found out she was pregnant" she laughed humorlessly "After that she just...spiralled. When I was born my _abuela_ looked after me while she was in a rehab facility, when she got out she took me back, Hell if I know why..."

Vaggies face darkened now, and she unconsciously rubbed her arm where her dressing gown covered it. Angel recognised the gesture all too well.

"She hurt ya, didn't she?"

Vaggie looked up sharply and angel gestured towards her "Its written all over your face, toots. What did she do, beat ya? Starve ya? Put her cigarettes out on ya arms?"

Vaggies nails dug into the couch "Don't..."

Angel felt a small pang in his chest, and his face softened as he nodded "Okay, okay...my pops used ta do that to me, y'know. Put cigarettes out on me"

Him. 'Niss. Colleagues who looked at him wrong. Vaggies eye widened and Angel smiled sardonically "Yeah, he was a real piece's shit. One time he found me in the yard, dancin' in one'a Molly's dresses. Beat me so hard I was in the E.R for a week"

"...I didn't know that" Vaggie said. Angel shrugged, it didn't matter to him anymore. God knew that wasn't even the worst of it. He looked over at the moth, at her stomach, where his kid was still a little shapeless blob. He chuckled suddenly and Vaggie looked up.

"What?"

Still tittering, he ran a hand through his hair "Was just thinkin' its ironic. We both grew up with shitty parents, but its for that same reason that this one ain't gonna. Because we both know better, don't we?" 

He watched as Vaggies hand came up to her belly, something he'd noticed she was wont to do lately when she thought no-one was looking, and his own palms burned with a sudden and surprisingly strong desire to lay his own hand there.

Well, that was shocking. Other than her heat, he usually had no desire to touch Vags at all!

"I wanna be here for it, Vags."

 _WHAT?!_ Where did that come from? Damn sleep deprivation!

Vaggies eye widened slightly, and he tensed, but that was the only reaction she gave. After a moment she smoothed her hands over her dressing down and straightened her back:

"Then I guess we need to figure out a way to tolerate each other, huh?" she said. Angel leaned back on his hands and tossed back his head.

"No idea what you're talkin' about, toots, you're the nutty one, I am fuckin' _delightful!"_

"You're a total ass"

"Hey, its a great ass! You said so yourself" he winked and giggled as Vaggie blushed violently.

"I-I was in Heat! That doesn't count! Oh, stop laughing!"

But Angel couldn't stop, holding a hand against his head as he rocked back, cackling so hard Fat Nuggets jumped off of the bed with a squeal. He heard Vaggie huff and felt something drop onto his legs. He wiped his eyes and looked down, in his lap was a small black card with curasive script.

"What's this?"

"An appointment. Me and Charlie have one with Yara in a few weeks if you want to come"

Surprised, Angel turned the card over in his hand. The back was white and had a date and time written in the same elegant script as the front. He would've thought Vaggie would sooner sign up to be Val's next bitch before she gave him something like this!

He looked up and raised the card slightly "I'll be there"

"...Okay" Vaggie shoved her hands in her pockets, fidgeting "I'll...leave you to it, then"

Angel nodded "Yeah. See ya"

Vaggie responded similarly and then left, leaving Angel looking down at the little black card.

Three weeks from now. Angel drew in a breath and ran a hand through his hair. So. Charlie had actually worn her down, it seemed.

 _Kid must be a beast in the sack,_ he twirled the little black card in his fingers contemplatively, a strange, bubbly feeling curling in his stomach. In three weeks he was gonna see his kid for the first time, he couldn't help but feel a little excited.

There was just one shadow that loomed over his head, one thing that could take this away from him and completely fuck up his day.

_I swear if Vals got anythin' set up for me that day I'm comin' up there and kickin' fates ass!_

*

Vaggie tried to creep back into bed as quietly as she could, but Charlie had always been a light sleeper. The princess squinted in the soft lamplight and she looked up at the moth, her hair a curly tangle around her face.

"H-hey, where'd ya-* _yawn!*-_ where'd ya go?"

Vaggie smiled softly and wrapped her arms around her "Go back to sleep hun, I'll tell you in the morning"

"Nooo" Charlie groaned, but her eyes were already closing "W'nna know _now!"_

"Go to sleep, hun" 

"Noooo"

Vaggie tucked the covers around Charlie's body "Sleep"

"Vagg..."

She ran her hand through her hair "Sleep!"

"Hnn..." Charlie gave one last stubborn pout before her tieredness took over, and she succumbed to it with soft, adorable snores. Vaggie stroked her cheek, her skin still warm from sleep and snuggled down with her, burying her nose in her sweet smelling hair and letting the scent distract her from her pounding heart.

_I did it for Charlie. I didn't do anything wrong._

_"this one aint gonna. Because we both know better, don't we?"_

_He's a liar, Lovey. Thats what men do, they lie._

_"I wanna be here for it"_

_No he doesn't. Hes playing with you. He's playing a GAME._

_But he...sounded like he was sincere..._

_Thats how they get you, Lovey. Its what your father did, its what your grandfather did, they promise, they lie, they play GAMES-_

_Shut-up Mom!_

She concentrated on Charlie, her smell, her skin, her presence. If that was true, she would handle it.

It wouldn't be the first time she'd won a mans game. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Does this chapter flow okay? Seriously, I'm not sure. Comment, kudos, constructive criticism is welcome. Next chapter out next week (I mean it this time!)


	10. Interlude: Charlie's gift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie gives Angel something and Niffty has a meltdown.

The next morning Vaggie tried to eat her breakfast, but Charlie was being far too distracting. After another failed attempt, she dropped her spoon into her cereal and sighed "Hun, please stop"

Charlie just kept squealing like a hyperactive chipmunk. Stars shone in her eyes and her fists were pressed against her cheeks in sheer joy "I'm...just...so... _proud of you!"_

"I- _ugh!"_ Vaggie barely managed to stop her breakfast tray from falling off the bed as Charlie tackled her in a hug. She huffed but couldn't help a small smile. It was good to see Charlie all happy and bubbly again "All I did was invite him to the doctors appointment!"

"But its such a huge step, Vaggie! Ooooh, I'm so proud of yoooou!"

"Yeah, you said that!"

"Well, I'm going to say it again! I'm proud of you, sweetheart!"

Then Charlie kissed her, and after a feigned sigh Vaggie kissed her back, cupping her face in her hands. She hummed as gentle hands folded around her waist, Charlie's soft lips pressing harder against hers. Vaggies stomach stirred pleasantly and she wove her fingers into Charlie's hair. Mmm, this felt nice...when was the last time she and Charlie had a good make-out session? Not since that romantic weekend in the Circle of Pride. She stroked her tongue against Charlie's lips and pulled her closer as the princess whimpered...

_"AAAAAAH!" BANG! BANG!_

Charlie and Vaggie jerked apart in surprise, then both of them ran down to the lobby. Vaggie held her spear and Charlie's fists were raised with Hellfire, ready to face whatever enemy had barged into their hotel!

But it just turned out to be Niffty, screaming like it was endtimes and shooting her laptop with a sawed off shotgun.

_"YOU STUPID, STUPID WRITERS!" BANG BANG BANG! "ELEVEN YEARS FOR THE 'I LOVE YOU' AND THEN YOU KILL HIM OFF?!" BANG BANG BANG! "DARN YOU! DARN YOU RIGHT TO HERE! **DIIIIIIIIEEEEE!"** BANG BANG BANG BANG **BANG!**_

Vaggie sighed, rolling her eye as she lowered her spear " _Dios_ , they killed her favourite character off again..."

Charlie groaned and doused her flames as she want to the weeping maid "Niffty! Niffty, stop shooting the laptop!"

 _"I WAITED SO LOOOOONG!"_ Niffty wailed " _THEY DIDNT EVEN GET TO KI-HI-HISS!"_

"Niffty, give me the gun!"

_"NO! LET ME END MY MISERY!"_

"NIFFTY GIVE ME THE _-OW YOU BIT ME!"_

*

A few hours into the afternoon found Angel roused from bed and scrubbing his eyes as he stood in the kitchen, sipping a steaming mug of coffee that was 90% sugar. After last nights enlightening chat with Vags he'd forced himself to try and get some shut-eye and, surprisingly, he had managed to get in a solid six hours. Maybe the worst of the withdrawals were finally over. About fucking time!

But his head still felt sore, like a headache waiting to happen. He sipped his coffee and winced as he felt a throb behind his eyes. Fuck...this shit better be over by the time the kid was around, he was gonna get enough headaches there, he didn't need anymore, fuck you very much!

"Angel! Hey!"

His head throbbed again as Charlie walked into the kitchen, and she was smiling like a hyperactive three year old promised all of Santa's Christmas gifts so either Vaggie had told her that they had come to an unofficial truce or she and the crazy bitch had just had the best sex in the world.

"Hey, Princess"

"I am so glad I caught you! Vaggie told me that you and her talked last night!"

Called it! "Yep, your crazy girlfriend waved the white flag and now I'm free from the psycho trantrums!"

Charlie's smile wavered "Angel..."

Angel raised his free hands "Hey, I'm only kiddin'! Yeah, she and I called a truce. She even-" he paused. Charlie knew about the invite, right? There was no way Vaggie didn't tell her that "Uh...she invited me to the doctors gig in a few weeks."

"I know, she told me!"

"...And you're cool with that?"

"Of course I am! I'm delighted! In so happy you're coming with us, Angel!"

Angel stared at her "You are?"

"Yes! The little one needs all of their parents together, don't you think so?"

 _But I'm a hooker. A porn star. A fuck up,_ how did Charlie not see that? Was she high? It sure would explain a lot.

"Yeah, I guess" he shrugged, taking another sip of his drink. When he lowered the mug the princess had moved to stand directly in front of him and was holding something in her hands. Angel jerked back, almost spilling his coffee. Shit, since when was she so fast?!

"Well, since youre coming, I thought you might want to take a look at this!" Charlie said cheerfully. Angel looked down and saw that she was holding a book in her hands, a little slim and pastel coloured, with a familiar black and white moth on the cover. 

"'Naamahs Diary?'"

"Yes! Yara gave it to me and Vaggie, said it'll tell us everything we need to know about the pregnancy and how to take care of the baby!" she pushed the book on him and he reluctantly took it, holding it in one of his lower hands. He raised an eyebrow.

"So what, you're givin' me homework now?"

Charlie shrugged "I suppose? Kinda? I just think it would be a good idea for all of us to be prepared for any eventuality, don't you think so, Angel?"

If her eyes got any bigger they were gonna fall out. He would love to see this kid on Exstacy, it'd be hilarious "Uuuhhh..."

"Great!" Charlie beamed, so bright she practically sparkled "Anyway, I'll leave you to your breakfast, I know you prefer to be alone when you eat"

"...Uh-huh"

"Oh, and Angel?"

She was in the kitchen doorway now (okay, how the fuck did she get around so fast?!) Angel looked up "Yeah?"

Surprisingly, some of the hyperactive sparkles and teeth simmered down, and she looked at him with a soft, almost shy smile "Thank-you, for deciding to come. It-it means a lot"

Angel blinked. He had no idea how to respond to that, she was so weird "No problem, toots"

Charlie's smile grew as she giggled softly before she left him alone with his coffee. He looked down at the book she gave him, turning it over in his hand. He'd never seen a real baby book before, in his time pregnant women seemed to prefer nagging their doctors or taking the advice of previously pregnant friends. He remembered his mom sitting down with a twenty year old neighbour, talking to her sweetly as she cried into a hankie.

Angel looked at the book a moment longer, then shrugged and flipped it open to the first page. What the hell, like Charlie said, it couldn't hurt to be prepared, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, but it had to be included, next ones a timeskip to Vaggies ultrasound so tune in for our first glimpse of the Spiderpillar!
> 
> Also, points to anyone who can guess what TV show Niffty was yelling about :3


	11. Scheduling Is A Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its Vaggies first doctors appointment and Angel is determined to be there. Unfortunately, theres one slight hitch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know I said this is the chapter where we see the baby but this chapter got too long so I split it into two. Spidermoth baby next chapter!
> 
> In the meantime, have some smut :3

_God, its been too long!_

Wet sounds filled the air as Vaggie suckled gently on Charlie's nipple, her other hand pinching and stroking its twin as the princess gasped and clutched the sheets, stammering the moths name as she began to kiss her way down her stomach. Soft hands stroked Charlie's sides, sharp fangs nipped her abdomen, and Charlie arched her back with a cry:

"Ah! Oh, _Vaggie..."_

Vaggie hummed against her lovers pelvis and shuffled down to where she was aching for her touch. She blew gently across her and Charlie whimpered, writhing in a wordless plea. Through lust filled eyes she saw Vaggie grin devilishly, only to cry out as she licked a stripe over her core. 

"Vaggie! Oh God! _Aah~"_

Vaggie clutched Charlie's thighs as she licked her teasingly until she was just about to beg for more when Vaggie finally slid her tongue inside her, making her squeal as she was thoroughly tasted.

"Ah! _Ah! Vag-Vaggie! Your...tongue...aaah!"_

Hands stroked over her belly as Vaggie sucked her clit, her head bobbing up and down as Charlie thrashed against her, her cries growing louder as her pleasure built and built and _built-_

_"VAGGIE! FUCK!"_

Charlies body shuddered as she cried out her orgasm, Vaggies tongue coaxing her through her ride. Finally her body slumped down flat on the bed, soft pants escaping her kiss bitten lips. That had been so good...and it had been so long...

Through her post orgasm haze she felt Vaggie trailing kisses up her body, and she lazily turned her head, smiling happily as the moths beautiful face came into view. Her grey skin was flushed and she was trembling with arousal, a warm hand stroked Charlies cheek as she pressed a kiss to her face.

Charlies smile grew cheeky. Suddenly she was feeling much more lively "Want me to take care of you, love?"

 _"Yes~"_ Vaggie cupped Charlies face and pressed kisses into her neck. The princess giggled and rolled Vaggie onto her back, then sat up to straddle her. She looked down at her and smiled.

"Youre so beautiful, Vaggie..." she said, stroking her not-so-flat stomach. She was officially three months pregnant now and had just started to show, the first time Charlie noticed it had been a few days ago when Vaggie was getting dressed, and she had what Vaggie had called a slight overreaction.

(Though Charlie failed to see how, all she had done was spend half an hour squealing and crying and kissing the tiny bump that was their baby. How was that overreacting?)

Vaggie giggled as soft butterfly kisses fluttered around her bump and she carded a hand through Charlie's hair "You know, one day youre gonna do that and you're gonna get kicked in the face"

"I know! I'm so excited!"

Vaggie giggled again "Youre so ridiculous... but speaking of waiting!" she arched her hips into Charlies and the princess quickly got the message. She slid her hands down past the beautiful, adorable bump and shuffled down to sit between Vaggies legs. The moths breathing hitched in anticipation as she felt Charlies fingers inch up her thighs...

Only to come to a complete stop.

"Uh...I don't think I can!"

Vaggie raised her head "What!?"

Charlie bit her lip uncertainly "W-what if I go too deep? I don't wanna hurt the baby by accident!"

"You won't, its just your fingers, you won't be anywhere near it!"

"I don't know...the book didn't say anything about this!"

"Charlie, people have sex all the time when they're pregnant, its fine!"

"I'm not sure..."

"Aaah!" Vaggie groaned furiously and Charlie felt a pang of guilt. Of course she wanted to please Vaggie, she loved sex with her! She just thought they should be a little bit careful, thats all...

"Can you at least use your tongue?"

"Oh! Right! Yes! I can do that!"

She dove right in and Vaggie released a grateful sigh of pleasure, rocking her hips into Charlies face.

"Hn...Charlie... _oh mierda..."_

With a soft tongue and tender touches Charlie brought Vaggie to a gasping climax. As she lay panting on the bed Charlie crept up to her side and Vaggie opened her arms for her to snuggle into. She nuzzled her face into Vaggies neck, stroking her belly tenderly.

 _I can't wait to meet you,_ she thought, smiling, _youre gonna be so big, so strong and so beautiful..._

"Charlie...you didn't-"

"Don't worry about it, Vaggie"

"But you need to-" 

Charlie stroked her loves face tenderly "Not while you're pregnant, honey. I can't feed from you if there's even a chance it might hurt the baby"

"But-!"

"Don't worry, I'll be fine I promise!" Charlie took Vaggies hand in hers and kissed her palm. Vaggie frowned slightly, but it was more out of disappointment than concern, because God if she didn't love it when Charlie fed from her!

And Charlie loved feeding from her, too, but that didn't matter. What were a few hunger pangs compared to the life her girlfriend carried? She stroked her belly again, smiling wide at the small curve there. That was their baby in there!

A tap to her head distracted her from her bubbly thoughts and she was met with Vaggies typical 'You're Being Dumb' look.

"Charlie, if you don't feed then youre gonna get weak, and whose gonna take care of the hotel if that happens? My big pregnant ass? Alastor?"

Charlie sighed and curled a hand around Vaggies waist "I'll be fine, Vaggie, my dads the Devil, I can handle a little lust withdrawal"

"But-"

"Okay, listen-" Charlie cut her off before she could go on a tirade "if you're so worried then we'll ask Yara about it tomorrow at the appointment, okay? If she says I can feed from you safely, then I will. Sound fair?"

"You promise?"

"I promise!"

"...Okay"

Charlie smiled and returned to stroking Vaggies baby bump. Her smile grew and she squealed softly "I can't believe we get to see them, tomorrow! I'm so excited!"

Vaggie hummed, and covered Charlie's hand with her own "I know. It feels so weird that its already been three months."

"I wonder what they're gonna look like? Do you think they'll look like you? Yara said they'll be a caterpillar so maybe they're like a caterpillar version of you or maybe it'll look a little like Angel since its half him, too, do you think it'll have eight eyes? I hope they have your eyes! I mean they can have whatever eyes they want obviously but can you imagine those big beautiful pink and yellow eyes in a _widdle baby face, oo-hoo!"_

This went on for a while, and Vaggie just watched and smiled and made the right noises where appropriate, her heart swelling with affection and love as Charlie rambled on and on. Unconciously she drummed her fingers against her belly. It was a little soon to be showing, even a little, but the kid apparently didnt care. She glanced down at her bump and sighed "God, I'm gonna get so fat..."

"Not fat!" Charlie took a break from her happy speculations and kissed her cheek "Pregnant! And totally _gorgeous!"_

"Fat"

"Beautiful!"

"Fat"

"Hot!"

"Faaaaaat"

"Sexyyyyyyyyy!"

"Oh yeah?" Vaggie grinned wickedly, unwrapped her arms from the princess and lay spread eageled on the mattress "Why don't you prove it?"

Charlie arched an eyebrow at Vaggies blatant attempt to seduce her. It totally worked, she descended on her like water in a rainforest, and Vaggie moaned victoriously as her neck was kissed.

"I'm- _mmmn!-_ still not feeding off of you!"

_"Fuck!"_

*

_Val: Gang bang shoot tomorrow. 9am sharp._

_Angel: Daddy, I think I'm coming down with something, can't I make it up to ya when I'm better?_

_Val: I don't give a fuck if you fucking die, Angelcakes, you get your ass here at 9 and I don't want to hear any arguments, understand?_

_Angel: Yes Daddy. I'll be there._

There was a vase on his dresser and it made a satisfying crash as it hit the wall. Fat Nuggets ran under the bed with a frightened squeal but Angel was too pissed to care. He thumped his fists on the dresser, glaring at his reflection.

He could skip it. He'd get one hell of an ass kicking, but what else was new?

But if he skipped it, Val would want to know why. Same if he asked for a day off, and if Val knew...

A fist of ice closed around Angels heart as he thought of what Val would do if he found out about the kid, there was no way the rat bastard wouldn't try and use it as leverage against him. Or worse, he might-

Angel stopped right fucking there. Val was never gonna touch his kid, because he was never gonna know about it. Which meant, he had to do the fucking shoot.

Fuck.

Angel cursed, knuckling his forehead. Well, maybe there was a chance Charlie would show him the sonogram pics of the kid when he got back. Once Vaggie was done eviscerating him, anyway. Hey, at least he'd have a good excuse not to go to the shoot if his guts were ripped out!

...Hold on a fucking minute!

His eyes opened as an idea sparked in his mind. Maybe there was away out of this after all...if he had the cash.

The spider jumped to his feet and checked his wallet. There wasnt much in there but he could always use 'other means' to make up the difference.

Grabbing the meagre cash he went to his closet, put on something tight and sexy, and headed down to Baxters lab.

*

"WHAT?!" 

The cry came from both demonesses, one forlorn and the other furious. It was the day of the appointment and all three were outside as the goat butlers brought the car around. Which, of course, Angel had decided was the best time to break the news of Val's demand. 

He raised both sets of hands and hoped he didn't get skewered "Ladies, ladies, chill! I'm still gonna be there I just gotta take care of somethin' at the Studio first!"

"Yeah? What?" Vaggie demanded.

Angel leered at her "Somethin' I don't wanna taint ya delicate little ears with, toots!"

The look if total revulsion on her face as she reeled back was very satisfying. Over the last few weeks they had managed to come to an uneasy alliance that knocked the screaming matches on the head and made the hotel a much more peaceful place. But the occasional jab at each other was was unavoidable.

"You can't just ask Valentino for a day off?" Charlie asked, her puppy eyes big and shiny. 

_Oh honey, youre so innocent, it's so adorable._

"Wish I could, kid, but thats how it is in the porn biz!" a honk alerted him to the cab that had pulled up behind him. His stomach fluttered, this was it.

"I'll meet you guys there, okay? Scouts honor!" He said as he went to the cab and got in. He saw Vaggie cross her arms irately and Charlie looking worried. He turned away as the cab driver pulled out and rummaged in his purse. The studio wasnt far away, he would need to be quick. 

From his bag he pulled out a small black tube and popped the cap off. To the unsuspecting eye, it was a simple tube of clear lipstick, just as Angel had asked for. Surprisingly, Baxter had given it to him in exchange for _not_ getting a blowie, and had even given him a few words of advice:

_"Do NOT lick your lips, do NOT drink alcohol when you're wearing it, and for fucks sake take it off within the hour or else the effects will rebound on you!"_

_"Thanks nerd. Ya sure ya don't wanna-?"_

_"YOU KEEP THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!"_

Angel would've chuckled at the memory were his stomach not every knot in the boy scouts handbook as they pulled up in front of Porn Studios. If this went wrong, Val was going to kill him, put it on film, and bring him back just so he could do it again.

But if he didn't do it he wouldn't get to go to the sonogram, and wasn't that what parents were supposed to do? Risk it all for their kids?

Steeling himself, he applied the 'lipstick' flawlessly, paid the cabbie and walked out in front of the studio. Somehow, the building looked even bigger and more foreboding than usual. He took a deep breath.

"This kid better be fuckin' cute..." he breathed out, then walked inside.

*

_Stay calm, Angie, you can do this..._

Angel walked onto the shoddy set of a doctors office dressed in a tiny nurses outfit that barely covered the goods. The other actors were already in make-up and dressed in threadbare doctors coats, and the set was laden with profanity as the lights and cameras were set up. Angel ignored it all in favor of searching for the one he wanted to see, and when he did, his heart pounded.

Valentino sat in a large, plush chair a few feet away from the set, his eyes glowing pink in the dark lighting as they oversaw the work of his cash cow, smoking one of his rancid cigarettes. Angel swallowed a lump in his throat. His 'lipstick' burned on his lips.

Just then Val's eyes centered on him, like he sensed he was there "About fuckin' time you showed up, Angelcakes"

Angel forced himself to relax his shoulders and spread his lips in a wide, sultry smile "Oh, am I late, Daddy? I'm so sorry" he purred as he slid sinuously into Valentino's lap. The moths face didn't change, but his hands came up to grip his hips. Angel hid his revulsion and wrapped his arms around Valentino's neck "Traffic was Hell"

"Traffic? Thats a shitty fuckin' excuse-mmph!"

Vala sound of surprise was muffled as Angel ducked his head and kissed him. The surprise didn't last and the pimp wasted no time ramming his tongue into Angels mouth and the spider tried not to choke on it.

_This shit had better fucking work or I swear, Baxter, your ass is MINE!_

After a few fake moans Val finally let him go with a pleased look on his face and licked his lips "What was that for, baby?"

Angel giggled "Gotta get revved up for the shoot somehow, right?"

Val chuckled, rubbing his ass "Horny slut. Get your ass over there and make your Daddy proud"

"Whatever ya want, Mistah Valentino~"

Smirking he got off of the pimps lap and withstood the smack to his ass as he went to get dolled up by the make-up imps. He kept the smile going as primer and foundation was applied to his face, but he could feel a bead of sweat running down his temple.

Fifteen minutes, Baxter said. Was that enough time? 

*

"Mother fucking asshole son of a bitch lazy bastard douchebag jerk..."

Charlie squeezed Vaggies hand again. The moth had been muttering obscenities the whole ride and Charlie had been doing her best to soothe her. She had tried to speak up once, but a viscious glare from Vaggie stopped that pretty quick. As they neared Yaras clinic the obscenities came out faster and quieter and her leg was bouncing up and down and Charlie knew that Vaggie was nervous. She let go of her hand and squeezed Vaggies knee.

"Hey. Its gonna be okay"

The knee stopped bouncing "I know that."

"Its okay to be nervous"

"I'm not nervous"

"...I am"

"What?" Vaggie stared at her "Why?"

Charlie shrugged and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear "I don't know, I guess...I'm kind of nervous and excited? We're gonna see our baby for the first time, its exciting! But I'm also nervous and I don't know why. Sorry, I guess I'm not saying it right!"

She took her hand off of Vaggies knee and twined her fingers into her lap. They came to a halt at a red light when Vaggie responded:

"I am a little nervous..." she admitted. She didn't look at Charlie "I...God, this is so fucking stupid, Charlie-"

"Its okay. Tell me"

Vaggie bit her lip and shook her head, her long silver hair falling into her face. When she spoke it was so quiet Charlie had to ask her to repeat it:

"What if...I don't feel it?"

"It?"

"You know! 'It!' That thing moms feel when they see their baby for the first time, when they immediately fall in love and start crying and all that, what if I don't feel it?" Vaggie swallowed, digging her fingers into the car seat "What if I change my mind again?"

Charlie felt a wave of sadness for her love. She took both of Vaggies hands in hers and kissed her knuckles.

"You already feel it, Vaggie."

"You dont-"

"Yes, I do!" she kissed her hands again, lingering this time as she brushed her lips across her knuckles "I saw how scared you were when you thought you lost it, I saw how happy you were when we found out you didn't, so I know that when you see our baby for the first time, youre gonna fall completely in love and do everything in your power to protect our little baby. I know it in my bones, Vaggie"

She turned her girlfriends hands over and kissed her gloved palms. Vaggie huffed.

"I am _not_ gonna cry..." she mumbled, and Charlie smiled against her palms

"We'll see about that, _mi amor"_

The lights changed and the limo moved on in the street, and for the rest of the journey Charlie kept her arm around her moth.

*

"Action!"

_Five minutes left, just play it cool._

Angel pressed a fist to his lips and fluttered his eyelashes at the four 'Doctors' surrounding his shitty gurney "Oh Doctors, I'm so sorry but I don't have _any_ insurance! Maybe I can pay ya, _some other way~?"_

As a doctor grabbed his legs Angel glanced at Valentino. The moth was watching him with laser focus, smoking his cigarettes and showing no signs of anything amiss. Angels stomach tightened, and it had nothing to do with the claws digging into his upper arms.

_Three minutes to go._

"Oh Doctor, claw me! Make me bleed all over your pretty white coat like a bitch!" _Really? Who the fuck wrote this script?_

"We're gonna need to do more surgery on your ass after we're done with you, sweet thing" a burly bear doctor growled, but Angel could see him roll his eyes as he bent between his arched legs.

"Arch your back, Angel, youre lookin' flat!" Val barked. Angel did as he was told, nerves roiling in his stomach. Why wasn't it working yet?!

_One minute to go._

Was it because he was an overlord?

 _"Oh Doctor!_ _Doctors! Fill me up, I want my asshole to gag on all four'a ya dicks!"_

Had he not kissed him long enough? 

_"Take Doctor Bigs all the way down, ya filthy whore...ah, fuck yeah!"_

Had he applied the stuff wrong? Dammit, Baxter should've told him if there was a specific way!

_"Oooh, paint me! Paint me! All three'a youse, paint me with ya-"_

"Hey, Mister Val, you don't look so-OH MY _GOD!"_

A tremendous roar. A hideous splatter. A disgusting odour. The four demons jumped off of him and Angel sat up, and gasped.

Holy shit...Baxter said this shit was potent but he never expected _this!_

Valentino had thrown himself over the side of his chair and was throwing up like a fire hose. A thick puddle had already formed beneath his feet and with each retch he just added to it. The stink was unimaginable, the mess unbelievable and it just kept _coming!_

"Holy _shit!"_

"Mistah Valentino, are you okay?!"

"Get a bucket! GET A FUCKING BUCKET!"

"GET OUT!" Valentino finally got a moment to breathe and roared at his employees, his face wet with sweat and puke "DONT LOOK AT ME! DONT FUCKING LOOK...AT... _OH GOD-!"_

The violent splattering started again and it was a race to see who could fuck off the fastest. Angel scrambled off the gurney and bolted for his dressing room to grab his stuff. He was halfway out of the studio when he realised he was smiling.

That shit had worked better than he thought it would. God, he wished he'd had a camera...

"Dude, what the fuck just happened?"

"Maybe he ate something bad?"

"That shit better not be contagious, I got a shift at Crab-tacular tonight!"

Angel had to hold back a snigger as his fellow workers speculated, none of them had any idea it was him and he planned to keep it that way. He made it out of the studio and, once he was sure he wasn't being watched, hurried down an alleyway next to an expensive porno shop, where Molly's familiar pink car was waiting for him. The car door opened and Cherri's grinning face emerged.

"Hey there, good lookin'! Need a ride?"

Angel grinned "Like ya wouldn't believe, suger tits!" he slid into the car and was surprised to see Molly sat in the passenger seat "Hey, what's Molly doin' here?"

"I'm makin' sure my car doesnt get wrecked!" said Molly, and Cherri rolled her eye.

"Babe, that was one time and I was in the middle of a turf war, it wasn't my fault!"

"It was six times and you were on a bender every time!"

"You're exaggerating, and it-!"

"I am fuckin' not, you crashed my car into-"

"-wasnt my fault Edgelord tried to blow my ass up and happened to hit-"

"-a goddamn drug dispenser and it took me forever to get it back because sinners were climbing on-!"

"-your car! Why do you think I smashed his face in the next time we-?"

"LADIES!" Angel yelled, leaning over the seats "In case ya forgot I got a fuckin' appointment to get to thats pretty fuckin' important, and if I'm not there in time imma skewer both ya horny asses! _LETS FUCKING GO LESBIANS!"_

 _"RIGHT!"_ Cherri floored the gas pedal and the car sped off into the busy streets of pentegram city.

As Molly shrieked Angel leaned back into his seat, relieved. Holy shit, he'd actually pulled it off! This wasnt the first time he'd gotten one over on Val, but fuck if it didnt feel like the sweetest! He couldn't hardly believe it, but he did it, and now he was gonna get to see his kid.

A little jolt went through him as he truly realised it. Holy shit, he was gonna get to see his kid.

Well _fuck!_

_**HOOOOOOOOOONK!** "GET OUTTA THE FUCKIN' WAY YOU LIMP DICK DRIVERS ED LOSER!"_

Unbeknowest to the women in the front seats, Angel Dust started to smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Both fics updated in one day, you're fucking welcome! Hope you all enjoyed :3 MERRY CHRISTMAS!


	12. That First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Charlie and Vaggie arrive for the ultrasound, but where the hell is Angel?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lots of dialogue in this one. I had to split the chapter but don't worry, I kept my promise, y'all get to see the baby spiderpillar! And maybe have a few laughs along the way! ENJOY!

Charlie and Vaggie arrived at the clinic with butterflies in their stomachs. They stepped out of the limo, hand in hand, and stood in front of a large bungalow of reddish brick, the dark windows all closed. The parking lot was empty save for a smooth black bently, shiny and well cared for and the license plate there bore no numbers, but a black and white moth in its centre.

Vaggie took a deep breath and squeezed Charlie's hand "Okay. Let's do this"

"Okay!" Charlie let go of Vaggies hand to wrap her arm in the crook of Vaggies and the two of them walked to the door. On the glass window a laminated message written in calligraphy script:

_Yaras Midwife Clinic. No smoking._

Below were opening hours and a number to call in case of emergency. The clinicalness of it was strangely comforting, and Vaggie felt the rubber band in her chest ease.

There was a small black intercom next to the door. Charlie pressed the button and after several rings, a gravelly, smoke riddled voice coughed out of the speaker.

_"Wot?!"_

_Charming..._ "Uh, hi! This is Charlie and Vaggie, we have an appointment?"

Several phlegmy coughs burst out of the intercom _"'ang on a minute...yeah, okay, when ya come in go into th' waitin' room, she'll call ya when she's ready"_ more violent coughs followed the shrill shriek of a buzzer and the door unlocked.

"She seems...nice!" said Charlie.

"Oh yeah, she's practically Mary Poppins" Vaggie rolled her eye as they walked in. The clinics reception area was similar to those on Earth, except the floors were unscuffed, the paint unpeeling, and there were no posters of numbers to call if your partner or child was being abused (Vaggie wasn't surprised. This was Hell, no-one cared if you were being abused)

As they walked through the reception they passed a cubicle with a large glass window covering it, behind which was an overweight elderly imp with long black and white horns and reading glasses, doing a crossword as a cigarette smouldered in her hand. She didn't glance up as the two demons walked by or even make an attempt to hide her cigarette despite the sign outside, a resting scowl on her face, and Vaggie was instantly reminded of Husk.

 _I should introduce them, they'd get along great,_ she thought. Just ahead of them was the waiting room and she and Charlie headed towards it. It was a nice area, soft armchairs against decoratively papered walls, a massive window that gave a view of the clinics beautifully cared for garden, the sun streaming in through the windows to touch the lush grey carpet. Vaggie and Charlie walked in and took a seat, finding that the chairs were obscenely comfortable.

"Ooh, I should get some of these for the hotel!" Charlie hummed. When Vaggie didn't respond she looked over at her, and saw that the moth was nervously twirling a strand of hair around her finger "Hey. You okay?"

Vaggie tugged her hair so hard it almost came loose "Y-Yeah. Just a little nervous, hun..."

Charlie reached out and took Vaggies hand again, stroking her thumb across the back comfortingly "It's going to be okay, Vaggie. I'm right here with you, and I'm not going anywhere. Today is a happy day, we're going to see our baby!"

Vaggie closed her eye and took a deep breath. Charlie kept up her smile, but couldn't deny that she was pretty nervous herself. Nervous and excited, of course she was! But still nervous.

Plus, there was one nagging thought that refused to leave her alone, an absence of a certain pink spider that twisted her stomach into knots.

 _Dont overreact, Charlie,_ she told herself, _he promised he'd be here and he totally meant it, I know he did! He probably just got held up at work, getting a day off from Valentino can't be easy..._

As Vaggie twirled her hair nervously around her fingers she discreetly took her phone out of her pocket and looked at the screen. No texts, no calls, the knot in her stomach got tighter.

_Oh for Satan's sake, Angel! Where are you?!_

*

_SCREECH!_

_HOOONK!_

_SQUEAL!_

_SLAM!_

_"OW! YA MADE ME HIT MY FUCKIN' HEAD, YA DINK!"_

_"HEY, YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID YA WANTED TO GET THERE AS FAST AS WE COULD!"_

_"YEAH BUT I ALSO WANNA GET THERE **ALIVE!"**_

_"BUT YOURE ALREADY DE-!"_

_"WATCH OUT FOR THAT PEDESTRIAN!'_

Molly screamed as a little old imp with a pull along trolley went wide eyed as the oncoming car screamed towards her. Cherri barely swerved in time and Angel once again smacked his head on the roof "OWWW!"

Rubbing the lump Angel went back to wiping his sluttly makeup off of his face with a wet wipe. The car swerved dangerously and Molly clutched her seat and screamed "OH GOD, WE'RE GONNA DIE!"

"THIS IS WHY I TOLD YA NOT TO COME, MOLLS!"

"Oh God, oh God, oh GOD THATS A LAMP POST!"

"Whoops! Sorry!"

_SCREECH!_

_THUMP!_

_"OW! DAMMIT, CHERRI!"_

*

"She's ready for ya now. Room 1"

Vaggies head jerked up and she nearly tore out a chunk of her hair. The stomach butterflies turned into snakes as Charlie gently pulled her to her feet, her hands tight around Vaggies. 

"Ready?"

Like she had a choice? "Yes. Yes I am!"

Charlie squeezed her hands tighter and didnt let go as they walked out of the waiting room and down the modestly furnished, chlorine smelling halls. They came to a mahogany door with a gold plated 1 in the centre, and Charlie knocked with her free hand.

"Come in" Yaras melodic voice called.

Vaggies heart pounded hard. Charlie opened the door and she couldn't feel her legs. Was she going to faint?

The room looked like an expensive version of a doctors examination room. There were photographs of demonic mothers cradling their babies in frames on the cream walls, a floor to ceiling bookcase stuffed with leatherbound medical books, and right in the centre was an examination table with a long strip of tissue paper covering it, above which was a large wall t.v.

Behind the examination table was a large machine of some kind, and beside that was Yara, sitting at an expensive looking desk. She wore the same matronly outfit from her visit to the hotel, but her hair was down, cascading around her face in loose brown waves, and when she smiled Vaggie saw that she was wearing make-up. Were she not five seconds away from passing out Vaggie would've thought that she looked nice.

"Vaggie, Charlie, its so nice to see you again!"

"Its nice to see you too, Yara" Charlie smiled with an effortlessness that Vaggie envied. How the hell was she able to stay so damn calm all the time? It was downright unfair. She raised her hand in an awkward wave.

Yara gestured to the three armchairs in front of her desk. Her dark eyes flicked behind them, like she was searching for something "Angel Dust did not come with you?"

 _Tch, yeah right._ She wanted to say it out loud but her throat wasn't working right. She sat down unsteadily in the-admittedly-comfy chair and listened to Charlie answer in her stead. 

"Oh, he'll be along! He just, uh, had a-had a work thing to work out first, y'know? He promised he would be here though, so he'll probably be along any minute now!"

_Oh Charlie, I love you but you are so naive sometimes..._

Even Yara sounded doubtful as she and Charlie sat down "Right. Well, since we're waiting, how about we see how Vaggies doing, hm?" she pulled out a drawer in from it took a blood pressure machine "If you'd like to hold your arm out please, just so I can take your blood pressure"

"If its high, dont be shocked"

"And!" she reached into her desk again and brought out a small clear cup "A urine sample!"

"A _what?!"_

*

A traffic jam. 

A fucking traffic jam.

They were barely fifteen fucking minutes away from the mother fucking clinic, and they had gotten into a fucking traffic jam!

_HOOOONK! "FUCKIN' MOVE IT, ALREADY ASSHOLES!" **HOOOOOOONK!**_

Growling, Angel poked his head out of the window "IF YOU BUMS DON'T START MOVIN' YA FUCKIN' ASSES IN THE NEXT DECADE IM GONNA COME OVER THERE AND SHOVE YA FUCKIN' HEADS RIGHT UP CEREBUS' SKANKY SHIT COVERED TAINT!"

_"FUCK YOU, PINKIE!"_

_"NO MAN, FUCK **YOU!"**_

"YOU WANNA FIGHT ME, BITCH?!"

"MAYBE I DO, BITCH!"

"ANGEL, GET BACK IN THE CAR!"

After he was unceremoniously yanked back into the car Angel swore and punched the perkily pink leather seats. He glared out at the traffic, which showed no signs of moving, and his scowl deepened "If we can't get outta this, I'm gonna miss everything!"

Cherri huffed "I'm trying, Angie, but short of blowing up every jack off in our way I got nothing!"

Angel snapped his fingers "Hey, that ain't a bad idea!"

"No!" Molly barked.

"Oh, come on!"

"Mollyyyy!"

"I said no! We're never gonna get there if ya blow up the road!

Angel cursed again, crossing his arms as he flopped back against the seats. This was some kinda sitcom bullshit right here, he couldn't believe he was gonna miss seeing the kid for the first time for something as mundane as fucking traffic! And after he'd worked so fucking hard, too!

His head lolled to the side in despair, focusing on the back of Molly's head. His sister was looking out at the traffic, too, but strangely she wasn't glaring at it like her girlfriend and brother. Molly's bright eyes were focused on the many cars ahead of them, and her fingers were twitching as her lips moved, mumbling under her breath.

Angels arms loosened. He knew that look. A small wisp of hope curled in his chest "Molls?"

She caught his eyes in the rear view mirror and something passed between them. She nodded.

"I can get us through"

The wisp in Angels chest became a full blown fire. Cherri looked over at the female spider "Huh?"

"Baby, trade seats with me"

"What? Why-?"

Angel slapped the back of Cherri's seat "Move over, you bombastic bitch, Molly's got this!" his smile threatened to split his face as Cherri complied, mystified.

"Anyone gonna tell me what's happening?"

Angel frowned as Molly settled into the drivers seat "Did Molly not tell ya what her job was when she was alive?"

"Yeah, she was a singer, right?"

Angel chuckled and shook his head. Molly took the wheel "No, no, babe. I mean her real job"

Molly tutted and clicked her seatbelt on "Oh shut-up, Tony, I only ever did this when I needed cash!"

"Ya still did it!"

"HEY!" Cherri barked at the grinning twins "Youre both being cryptic as fuck and we both know I ain't the brightest so does one of you wanna explain?!"

Angel grinned "Ya know our family was mafia, back when we were alive?"

"Uh-huh"

"Well, our pops made sure we each had a job, and he made sure we were damn well good at it. 'Niss was the assassin, I was the distributor, and Molly?"

"Yeah?"

Angels grin turned downright evil "She was the getaway driver"

In the front seat, Molly revved up the car and curled her fingers around the steering wheel.

"Buckle up, gang!"

She punched the accelerator, and then everyone was screaming.

*

Well, she never needed to to do _that_ again!

"Very good" Yara took the small cup from a red faced Vaggie and stuck a small strip of paper into the unfortunate contents. The strip changed colour and the the older moth looked at it thoughtfully before nodding.

"No signs of infection. Thats good" she threw the cup into a small basin next to her and the paper into the trash

"Now why don't we discuss how the pregnancy is progressing? Vaggie?" she turned to the pale moth, a leather bound notebook on her lap "How are you feeling? Any pains? Anymore spotting? Have your cravings begun yet?"

Charlie squeezed her hand again and Vaggie let the sensation calm her racing heart and churning stomach. 

"No, nothing like that yet. As for cravings, I, uh, I guess I've been eating a lot of salads and cheese lately" and not separately. She remembered the look on Angels face when he walked in on her pouring melted cheese over a bowl of lettuce, he'd looked like he was about to throw up and then ran out of the kitchen, it was the hardest Vaggie had laughed in a week.

Yara nodded, scribbling in her notebook "Good, thats good. The more severe cravings usually start in the second trimester, which you've already entered, so keep an eye out for that"

"Severe cravings? What do you mean by that?"

Yara looked up over her notebook "Meat, Vaggie. You'll be craving meat"

Vaggie was still confused. Why would that scare her, it wasn't like she was a vegetarian, but before she could ask Yara was looking at her over her notes again.

"I recommend that you take your cravings seriously, Vaggie, your body knows that the child needs, all you have to do is listen to it. Of course that being said do try to keep a relatively balanced diet to keep your body in peak physical condition, do you understand?"

Vaggie nodded, then blinked suddenly. All this talk of bodies made her remember: "Speaking of that, actually, there was something Charlie and I wanted to ask you. Wasn't there, hun?"

She looked at Charlie meaningfully. The princess blinked, not understanding at first, then the realisation came and she nodded "Well...uh...see, Vaggie and I were in bed the other day and we were about to-"

_"She doesn't need the whole story Charlie just the highlights!"_

"Oh! Sorry! Eheh...An-Anyway, we were wondering...well..." Charlie bit her lip, a faint blush on her face and she wasn't looking at Yara anymore "Well, see, I-Im a succubus, l-like my mom and we...Vaggie and I...we were wondering if, uh...well, since she's pregnant we were wondering if it would be safe for me...to... _feedfromher?"_

Charlie's voice turned into a chipmunks squeak and her face had gone bright vermilion, and Vaggie could've sworn she saw Yaras lip twitch as she lowered her notebook "I see. And have you fed from Vaggie since she became pregnant?"

"No! No, no, no, we wanted to get your opinion first!"

"Good. Because under no circumstances are you to feed from her while she is carrying the child"

"What?!" Vaggie cried "How come?"

"Because Vaggie, as you well know by now, a feeding session from a succubus causes the body, even a demonic one, to weaken. If Charlie were to feed from you in your current condition, it would greatly increase the risk of miscarriage, and given the rarity, and therefore unpredictibility, of your condition I would strongly advise against your continuing as Charlie's supplier."

Charlie shot Vaggie a look that screamed all kinds of 'Told You So!' Vaggie sat up, waving her hands.

"Woah woah woah, wait a minute, are you telling me that I can't have sex with my girlfriend?! For six months?"

"Not at all. She just mustn't feed from you when she does"

Vaggie flopped back with a curse. Great, this was just great...she looked down at her barely bulging belly "This kid better be really damn cute..."

Charlie took her hand and smiled fondly "I promise we'll guilt trip them for the rest of their life, baby"

Vaggie smiled softly, but it faded as another thought occurred to her "But-what about Charlie? She needs to feed off of sexual energy or she'll get sick, and I'm the only one who provides that!"

"Well, there's-"

"Vaggie, I'll be fine-!"

"No you won't!" she yanked her hand out of Charlie's grip "You know what happened the last time you let it get bad, Charlie!"

"Ladies, if I could just-"

"You can't do that to yourself again, I won't let you!"

"Vaggie-"

"Think of the baby! _Our_ baby! Whose gonna help me when I'm all big and fat if you're...you know! _Not available?"_

This, at last, stopped Charlie's protests. A pained look crossed her features and Vaggie felt her ferocity fade under guilt. A delicate cough dragged their attention to the third party in the room.

"If I may, I have an alternative solution"

Vaggie and Charlie stared at her. Vaggie threw up her hands "Then why didn't you say something before?!"

Yaras eye twitched, but her lips spread into a pained smile "If Charlie is unwilling to take an..ahem, ''alternative partner', there are other ways to satisfy her hunger"

"...This is the part where you tell us what they are" Vaggie said. Yara brushed back a loose strand of curly hair.

"When my brother's began to marry and procreate, they realised that their wives were not carrying to term because they were still feeding from their souls. Those unwilling to be unfaithful sought help from your mother, Charlie, who being sympathetic to their plight, sought a solution. After some time she created a pill that was designed to sate the cravings of a succubus or incubus so that they didn't have to feed during their partners pregnancy.

"Now, there are some side effects" she closed her hands over her lap "Since the sexual energy the pill transmits is not from the source, such as it were, while it will sustain you it will not be very fulfilling, itll be like you're living off of raw potatoes for the next few months. Side effects include some slight fatigue, some irritability, and some, uh, sexual frustration, but no more than an average demon experiencing a dry spell. What do you think, princess?"

Charlie stared unblinkingly, and Vaggie watched her tick the idea over in her mind. She felt uncomfortable, she liked to think that she knew a lot about Hell and the way it worked, the hierarchies, the demons to watch out for, the way to accessible brands of drugs, but she had never heard of a pill like this before "Yara, are you sure its-?"

"I'll do it!" Charlie declared, and Vaggie cursed inwardly, though she wasn't surprised in the least.

"Charlie, wait-"

"Very well, I'll get you a box after our session!" Yara smiled and Charlie returned it stiffly. Vaggie threw up her hands in exasperation and slumped against her chair. She was probably worrying about nothing, anyway, Yara was a doctor, she was hardly going to give Charlie anything harmful, was she?

"Now that that's sorted, I think its about time we get a look at your little stranger, don't you?"

 _Oh God, here we go..._ Vaggie breathed deeply "Y-yeah, lets-"

"WAIT!" both moths jumped at Charlie's screech. The bubbly princess looked between them anxiously "I-I mean...shouldn't we wait for Angel?"

She turned to Vaggie hopefully, but the moth didnt return it "Charlie, I'm pretty sure he's not coming"

"But...he said he would! He promised! He-he may have just gotten held up at work, I'm sure he'll be along any minute!"

"Charlie-"

"Please?" Charlie turned on the puppy dog eyes and held Vaggies hand between her own "Pleeease, Vaggie? Just a few more minutes?"

Charlie clasped her hands and puppy-eyed for all she was worth. Vaggie huffed and rolled her eye. She wanted to tell her it was pointless, Angel was a jackass and he was late and they shouldn't give him any extra time!

But, as always, Vaggie could never say no to the puppy eyes "Fine! Five minutes!"

"Eeeee!" Charlie hugged her hard and planted a big wet kiss on her cheek. Meanwhile, Yara tutted.

"Well, I suppose in the meantime we can go over any other queries there may be. So, any painful gas?"

"Well, I wouldn't call it painful-"

"I was asking Vaggie"

"...Oh."

*

_SCREECH!_

Angel screamed with pure joy as the car turned sideways and on two wheels skidded past a beat up old van of irritable imps and their screams were music to his ears as the car barrelled towards them, missing them by inches.

Molly's driving skills were completely unhindered by her time in Hell. If anything, it had sharpened them, and Angel threw his hands up in the air as they flew over another car and came crashing to the ground in a perfect arch. They were out of the jam by now, but no-one dared take the wheel from Molly.

Hell, no-one wanted to!

"FUCK YEAH! FASTER, MOLLS, FASTER!"

"I'm goin' as fast as I can, Angie baby! Don't worry, we'll make it on time to see your baby!"

"...Oh yeah, that!"

He screamed with laughter as Molly drove onto the pavement and dozens of sinners and imps dove out of the way. The car soon came back on the road with a shrill screech, but the speedometer never went south of 110.

"Woah, fuck!" Angel laughed as an oncoming lorry threatened to smash them into bits. With a well executed turn, Molly avoided it, and the lorry disappeared behind a cloud of the little cars smog.

"That was close!"

"Don't doubt me, baby, I've been doin' this since I could reach the pedals! Hey, where'd Cherri go?" 

"She's around"

"WOOO-HOOO!" Cherri screamed joyously from the roof of the car, her arms open like she was on the Titantic and laughing at each swerve that threatened to throw her to her violent double death.

"THIS IS SO! FUCKING! _AWESOOOOOME!"_

*

"Charlie, I apologise but I have clients waiting"

"Hun, he's not coming. Come on, don't you want to see our baby?" 

"Just five more minutes! He could still-!"

"Charlie!" Vaggie closed her eye, counted to ten, then took Charlie's hand and squeezed it gently "Charlie..."

Charlie looked at Vaggie, then at the door, her expression torn, but eventually the princess gave a soft, downcast nod.

"Okay.."

"Wonderful!" Yara said with obvious relief "Vaggie, if you could please lie on the table and expose your stomach for me?"

Vaggie blanched "I-I'm wearing a dress-"

"Oh, don't worry about that, its just us girls here" when Vaggie didn't move, Yara backtracked "Oooor I could cover you with a sheet?"

"Yes please!"

*

All three demons were screaming as the car finally torpedoed into the clinics parking lot and Molly slammed on the brakes so hard the whole damn thing nearly did a backflip.

Wasting no time Molly reached back, unlocked the back door and threw it open "GO TONY GO!"

Angel scrabbled out of the car, only pausing to give his sister a big wet kiss on the cheek "Thanks for this, Molls, I owe ya one!"

"GO!"

Angel went, and Molly relaxed back into her seat with a sigh. God, that had been Hell, she hoped they'd at least gotten him there on time...

A sudden thump on the cars roof caught her attention and she opened her eyes just in time to see Cherri Bomb pop her head into the car. Her hair was a candyfloss tornado and she was panting with residual adrenaline, smiling wider than the Cheshire Cat, her eye bright with adrenaline junkie exhilleration.

"LETS GO AGAIN! _AGAIN!_ "

*

As Yara grabbed a paper sheet from a roll on the wall Vaggie hopped up onto the hard plastic table and lay down, pulling up her dress to expose her belly (everything else that was exposed was quickly covered by Yara) and she drummed her fingers against her sternum as Yara found the ultrasound wand. There was a comedic squelching sound as the jelly was applied and Vaggie hissed a breath. That shit was cold! 

The air shifted on her side and Charlie was there, touching her shoulder "This is it, Vaggie!"

Vaggie swallowed and nodded "Yeah...it really is..."

She felt the butterflies return with a vengeance. This was it, she was about to see her baby for the first time...

"This is so exciting!" Charlie breathed, but Vaggie could tell there was something lacking in her tone. When she saw Angel again she was gonna kick his ass. Of course he broke his promise, she wasn't even surprised...

Yara approached and Vaggie reached up to squeeze Charlie's hand "Are we ready?"

Charlie was already looking at the screen eagerly. Vaggie nodded. She was about to throw up. "Yeah. G-go ahead"

Yara smiled, then lowered the wand, and Vaggie tensed as the hard plastic touched her belly.

_Knock knock knock!_

Yara looked up with a frown "Busy!"

"Sorry ma'am, but its important. There's some crazy pink spider outside an' he's demandin' to be let in"

"Angel!" Charlie gasped softly. Vaggie huffed.

"Should I tell 'im to sod off?"

Yara lifted the wand away and smoothed back her hair "I'll just ask-"

"Oi, I told ya you can't just go in without permission!"

"And I told _you_ that I don't give a fancy flyin' fuck, now move your smoked ham ass before I kick it back to Imp fucking City!"

"Oi! I said no!"

"Yeah? You gonna stop me, bitch?"

The sounds of a scuffle lasted only a second before the door burst open and Angel walked inside, his hair mussed and out of breath, but that wasn't the reason everyone was staring.

"Angel! You made it!" Charlie practically cheered, tears actually springing to her eyes. Vaggie, however, had made a different observation:

"What the _fuck_ are you wearing?!"

Angels face dropped and he looked down. He was still wearing the slutty nurses outfit from the porn shoot "Oh yeah! Uh..." he bit his lip for a moment, then shrugged carelessly "Sorry, toots, I was in a rush! But I don't think anybody was complainin'!" he winked, flicking his very very short white skirt with his lower fingers.

Vaggie groaned and dropped her head back on the table " _Mierda..."_

Meanwhile, Charlie had her hands clasped in front of her and was beaming like Angel had brought her the secret to Hells own redemption "I cant believe you made it! Oooh, I knew you would!"

Angel looked down at her, and his cocky smile flickered "Well...yeah!"

Charlie squealed and, before anyone could stop her, she launched herself at Angel and wrapped him in a crushing hug that all but broke his back "I'm so happy!"

"Grk! You're...crushing my...ribs!"

"Oh, sorry! Sorry..."

Yara coughed politely, her cheeks a little red "Well, now that everybody is here, shall we, um, continue?"

"Yes please!"

"Sure" Vaggie sighed. 

Charlie grabbed one of Angels hands and pulled him onto the chair next to hers and looked up at the screen eagerly, not realising she was still holding his hand until the spider gently disentangled it. She barely even noticed, fixated completely on the ultrasound monitor. This was it!

All went silent as Yara placed the wand on Vaggies jellied stomach. At first, there was nothing there. Yara moved the wand around, but nothing appeared on the screen.

"Huh. Little devil seems to be hiding from us..." Yara murmered. Charlie heard Vaggie swallow and took her hand, her heart pounding a little harder in her chest.

Yara moved the wand around again. Nothing.

"What's goin' on?" asked Angel.

"I'm not sure...the little one seems to be making it hard for us to locate them..."

"Lady, are you even qualified to work this thing?!"

"Angel, shut-up and let her do her job!" Vaggie snapped. She was crushing Charlie's hand by now.

"Maybe if she was doin' her fuckin' job right, I would!" Angel snapped back.

"Guys, don't fight! Come on, this is supposed to be a happy day!"

" _There_ we are!"

Angel had opened his mouth for a retort, but that all changed as the little room was filled with a fast, rhythmic thumping sound.

Charlie gasped. Angel and Vaggies eyes widened. As one, all three slowly looked up at the screen.

And there it was. There the baby was.

It was tiny. Little and grey and surrounded by black. Its head was round and baby shaped, the sillouhette of a nose that looked very similar to Vaggies pointing out at them. Two little arms were curled up on its chest, while another two just below them slowly rocked in the sea of Vaggies amniotic fluid. Past that, where the legs and feet would be was instead what looked like a long, thick tail, with two strange lumps on top of it.

The silence was such that you could hear a pin drop. Not one eye blinked, and for a moment, no thought existed. All three parents stared at the image on the screen, the image of the real, living, life that grew inside of Vaggie. For once, they were all speechless.

In the little room in Yaras clinic, the baby's heartbeat drummed on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what do we think of the baby?


End file.
